An Artist's Journey

Exhibition opening night (and my 6 still lifes in oil)

2010-05-05T10:17:00.003+12:00

Here are some photos from the NZ Art Guild North Island Members Exhibitions which is currently showing at the Bruce Mason Centre in Takapuna, Auckland for the rest of May. To be honest, actually getting 6 paintings completed and hung was a major achievement for me given the amount of things going on in my life at the moment (more on that in another post).

I am really happy with how this series turned out overall (although I can look at individual paintings and see things I would like to change as per normal) and I am satisfied that I did manage to do a mini series of still life's which I have wanted to do for a long time now.

For me, as I have mentioned before, it is about finding the beauty in the ordinary. The best gift I believe I have received from being an artist, is the openness to the beauty that is all around us at any time. I feel that I spent many years caught up in my head space not noticing things and only occasionally sitting down to watch a beautiful sunset or to appreciate the waves crashing on rocks.

Now that appreciation is a daily thing. Each morning I drive on Tamaki Drive to work which is along Auckland's waterfront. I leave home early so I catch the early morning sun rising and the reflections on the water, the boats moored in the placid ocean and the sky golden over Rangitoto are awe-inspiring. It makes me want to stop my car and just soak it in.

So while these paintings are of vegetables and fruit, they are not about that to me. It is about the true beauty in the things we take the granted, especially the gifts of nature that nourish us and provide us with the means to live and flourish. It is about appreciating that humble orange, enjoying the glow in the sunshine and then when you open it and eat it, that rush of pure sweet goodness. It is the pepper or the onion that provide that taste sensation and also just look so good. If I could hope for anything from this little series, is that maybe one other person may look at a humble vegetable or fruit in just a slightly different way and see the beauty that they may not have noticed before.

The Beauty of Simplicity

2010-04-11T17:12:00.006+12:00

The Beauty of Simplicity - Oil on canvas 300 x 300mm

For me as an artist, seeing beauty in the normal, in the simple, in the day-to-day, is probably the greatest gift I have received since I started exploring my creativity. Whereas once I may have gone through each day lost in the thoughts in my head, I am now more mindful, I see, I'm entranced, I soak it in.

That is not to say that I exist in a constant state of wonder (although having young children is a lesson in this) but I do appreciate beauty, I am grateful for the play of light on something that briefly illuminates it and showcases its beauty.

I have an exhibition coming up next month as part of the NZ Art Guild and for this I have a panel which is a certain width and height and which I can fill up in any form I wish. While I was trying to decide on what I might like to paint and what I would like to express for this exhibition, I kept on coming back to the simple, the ordinary and the beauty in that. I decided to do a six part series of still lifes, focusing on the simplicity and the beauty in these ordinary objects, and try and do my best to show that illumination.

So often, we want beauty to be large and overwhelming so we can clearly identify it and say, that is beauty, that is special. But I am beginning to believe more and more that it is the beauty in every day, in the simple things, in the sunlight on the water that I drive past every morning, in the fog and rain smothering the skyscrapers on a misty morning, in the play of light on a child's toy sitting in the sunlight on the floor - that is what is meaningful, that is what gives colour and light to this life we chose to live.

Drawing as meditation

2010-02-06T13:17:00.002+13:00

I may have mentioned here before that drawing has a meditative allure for me. Prior to a couple of years ago, the thought of spending hours and hours on a detailed drawing would have not appealed. I am normally someone who likes results fairly quickly.

However once I started drawing, it became less about the result and more about the process. When I draw now, I slip into that timeless state where all I am focused on is that line, that scribble, that tone compared to the next. There is no room for any fearful thoughts, any second-guessing, it is all about that one mark with the pencil at a time. I guess it is what Eckhart Tolle calls the Now.

I have been working very very hard finishing off a work project so I can start a 5 week contract with another company on Monday, so last night I was feeling burnt out, tired and exhausted. That is when I reached for my pencils and started this horse. That continued all morning and I got so lost in time that when I finally questioned why my children were constantly coming to me with food they had "hunted" from the pantry, I looked at my watch and realised it was long past their lunch time and actually into nap time.

But I can tell you now, that I feel refreshed and invigorated, my brain feels inspired work-wise once more, and my drawing meditation has done its work. Perhaps it is this same state that Tibetan monks enter when they create those beautiful sand mandalas .
This morning, we were also repeatedly visited by a stunning monarch butterfly who graciously enabled me to get close enough to take 149 photos. Here are two of my favourites. I really would like a macro lens and explore photography further.
Wherever you are reading this, and whoever you are, I hope that you have your form of slipping into this present state, because it truly is the best.

Mom 2.0: Defining A Movement

2010-02-01T10:38:00.001+13:00

A seascape in oils

2010-01-23T17:55:00.002+13:00

For the last couple of weeks, I have been trying to bring to my canvas the peace and serenity I felt on my morning walks on the beach while at Maraetai. I am not sure if I am quite there yet but if I play anymore today I am going to push it too far. So I will sit on this for a couple of days and decide then if it is finished, or it not, what I will do in order to get there.

Ummmm, will let you know............................

New Year Intentions (and how to be challenged immediately)

2010-01-17T13:59:00.002+13:00

During the lovely week at Maraetai which involved lots of soaking up moonlight over the ocean, walks along the beach and swimming in turquoise waters, I also spent some time working through what 2009 meant to me in terms of what I was grateful for and what lessons I learnt, as well as creating what 2010 will look like. I was so pleased to come across this which I found was a lovely gentle process of crafting my intentions about 2010.

I came home feeling all inspired and so so ready to kick into it all. I decided my word for this year would be Balance as I have some HUGE goals relating to my business but also the reason that I want to have my own business and do my own thing is so that I can have a fabulous life which also involves being an involved mother, an artist with a fantastic relationship with my husband and have time to immerse myself in all the many interesting things in life.

However, while I was so focused on my work goals and getting everything sorted for Possibility, I kind of forgot that daycare doesn't start back until 21st January and until then I have a very active, dudette 2 year old daughter (who is determined that she actually is 3) and a 3 year old son who is just as active and fun and dude-like. So for the first week back I felt more and more frustrated every day as I wasn't getting stuck in (as I couldn't), and I wasn't achieving anything (which is an important feeling for me). I stopped enjoying each day, lost all energy and only perked up in the evening when I had some time to myself again.

So early on in this week, I decided it sucked feeling that way, and the only reason I felt that way was because I was letting myself create those thoughts and stories and how about I create a new story about enjoying the last week with the kids and being the kind of mum that I want to be.

And since I made that decision, life has been much happier. I have thoroughly enjoyed the days with the kids and we are going somewhere on an adventure everyday (doesn't need much to be an adventure for a 2 and 3 year old which is so cool to see that through their eyes and is making me appreciate normal everyday things more). We have gone to Cornwall park and hugged trees and looked for fairies, we have painted and gone swimming and I am so enjoying it.

I found it so interesting that after setting an intention, I got challenged and felt so frustrated and it was only when I looked inside and realised that my intention was all about me having the time to play and explore with my munchkins while building a successful prosperous business, so this precious time before daycare starts is a gift to me.

PS The top photo is of a Pohutakawa flower I took early one morning at Maraetai and the Buddha is a new addition to my garden and I am sure I feel just a little more peaceful when I look at him.

Chilling at the beach

2009-12-29T07:50:00.002+13:00

Here are just a couple of photos taken with my blackberry early yesterday morning when I took Connor for a walk along the beach at Maraetai. I need to go out on a photo session with my DSLR camera early in the morning as this is a beautiful part of the world. My mother-in-law has a house out here so we have taken it over for a week or so and chilling out by walking, reading, sleeping and basically doing not much. Wishing you all a lovely holiday season too and I hope you are getting some chilling time too xxx.

Emily

2009-12-22T17:00:00.003+13:00

This is Emily. She is the 3 year old daughter of my friend Michelle, and maybe my future daughter-in-law? My 3 year old son is pretty keen on her and as he watched me draw this yesterday, he kept on smiling as he referred to "my Emily, my friend Emily" and they were holding hands at the beach on Saturday!

We took lots of photos and when I saw the one that this one was based on I knew I just had to draw it. Luckily my two children arranged circumstances so I didn't have to work yesterday and today by both coming down with a bug so I managed to draw this while looking after two sick kiddies yesterday.

Just as well that I got it done yesterday as today I have two recovering munchkins, who while are not well enough for daycare, are well enough to create WW III and WW IV in the living room between each other today. Unfortunately nothing can be shared today between the two of them, including their mummy. After being fought over most of the day, I decided I needed a coffee break from them so got my book and my coffee and sat outside with the door open where I could hear them but they couldn't get to me. I then had to repeatedly explain that I was having a break. When they want to join you and have a "break" too, how do you explain to a 2 year old and a 3 year old that you really want the break from them?

WIP - figures

2009-11-14T08:26:00.004+12:00

After all my great intentions about no longer neglecting my poor little blog, the last month has gone by in a whirl of work and everything else. I have not been feeding my soul and began to feel overwhelmed with everything that I have to do and not fulfilling my own needs. I have a bad habit of putting those things I love like reading fiction and art down on the priority list when I have a lot on. However that doesn't work. If I am not feeding my soul, I can't give what I need to all the urgency's in my life.

So yesterday I started these two figures. I have completed the under painting of the male figure and once that is dry I will glaze colour. The woman is only drawn up but I quickly did the background this morning as I want to be able to work on these concurrently.

It felt so incredibly good to paint and the hours just flew by and before I knew it 10pm was showing on my watch. I'm pretty happy with the foreshortening on the hand as I was a little nervous about that but tried to focus on tone with no acknowledgement of what I was painting and it worked.

I'll update in a few days when I make some more progress....

Searching for Authenticity

2009-10-04T18:20:00.005+12:00

WIP Oil on canvas

One of the exciting things about being an artist in the early stages is the freedom to play around, try new styles and techniques and embark on a process of discovery. On the flip side, it is trying to find the balance between experimentation and artistic development while maintaining my authenticity. The non-judgemental part of me enjoys the experimenting while another part of me wonders how I can create an artist brand if I am changing and inconsistent with the type of art I do.

I think I have touched on this before, my struggle to go down any one direction. I love oils and I love the glazing, the detail, the flow that you get with them. I get lost in almost a meditative trance when I am painting in oils and can spend hours lost in blending and detail. Then again the abstract resin works I have done are so much fun. It is pure colour and play and while I don't get trance-like with it, it is a fun break from everyday work as I can head into the studio and throw another glaze on in 5 minutes and then have to leave it again to dry. So those works are done in many many stages which fits in well with two small children and two businesses.

Then again I love pencils and drawing and getting into detail detail detail and I get completely lost in time with drawing. And what about mixed media (like Soar) - that is fun and crafty and also satisfies some part of me.

So to be authentic to me and my journey as an artist, I think I need to continue with my play and experimentation as every type of art I do satisfies me and brings me joy on some level. It is about the process for me and I don't want to think about branding if that limits me. I just want to be me.

Soaring

2009-10-03T20:17:00.004+12:00

This piece is about letting who you truly are, soar. To fulfill everything that you can be, to see possibilities and to shine.

When I stroke my children's faces as they drift off to sleep, I tell them they are perfect exactly how they are, that they can do anything they want to in life, and that they are completely and utterly perfect being who they truly are. When they are in that sleepy half awake/half asleep stage, they are so receptive to being told this and when I ask my son if he knows how truly perfect he is, he whispers yes with a smile and closed eyes.

We tend to lose that sense of truly knowing ourselves when we grow up, and what a loss that is. My children are now 2 and 3 and I know it will break my heart when I see things happen in their life that makes them question how perfect they are, how amazing they are, and that they have the ability to soar. I feel that now in my thirties, I am trying to remember who I really am and I am so excited about life and possibilities and big big dreams most of the time. But sometimes those doubts creep in and I think who am I to think I could do this.

That is when I think of Marianne Williamson's amazing piece of prose and think who am I not to be.

This piece is a reminder to soar, that when you are truly you, you can't do anything else but soar. It is mixed media on canvas with 4 layers of resin with different pieces embedded in different levels so is quite three dimensional in person.

My deepest apologies to my dearest blog...

2009-09-27T09:11:00.006+12:00

My dear blog,

I humbly apologise for the neglect I have shown you for the last few months. I have been alive and busy (very busy) and due to some external factors (like a laptop that had to be repaired twice) and some internal factors (not putting you up on my priority list), I have neglected you. But now I am back. Here is some proof of my busyness.....I have been taking photos of pretty flowers....

....and playing with resin and layers of mixed media (this is still a WIP with several more layers to go)....

...and hanging artwork at Cafe Apollo finally....

...and it looked good!

I have spent a lot of time chasing this fearless little girl......

...and watching her discover the world........

...while enjoying the dog obsession this wee dude has (he currently has to sleep with his "pack" of about 8 soft toy dogs including his mangy Hairy (who is almost hairless now from love)...

.....and answering the questions a dozen times a day of "What's this Mummy?".

So as you can see life is busy. My Possibility business is soon to launch and I have been doing consulting work for a shoe retailer (which is why my children now have enough shoes to last the next few years as I find it hard to ignore clearance sales).

So please forgive me blog, I do humbly apologise and I would like to say that I'm back!

Charcoal portrait

2009-07-29T18:23:00.002+12:00

Today was a "mummy" day which sometimes means I get the chance to draw as my kids love seeing me draw and they can draw at the same time.

I was going through photos on my laptop trying to figure out what I was going to draw and I came across this photo of my son's best friend. Last Friday at his friend's house, we convinced the boys (with bribes of course) to dress up for some photos and Carter was a fireman while his best friend was a pirate.

So here is Ryan in his pirate glory. I toned the paper first this time which I quite enjoyed working with rather than having a pristine white background. It does look better in real life and it is bigger than A4 so the scanner didn't capture it all. I'll have to see now if Ryan's mother likes it.

Possibility

2009-07-28T10:42:00.002+12:00

Some of you may have noticed that my posting has been sporadic as of late. One of the big reasons for that is I have been working hard on getting everything ready to launch my business in a few months time. I know that I have mentioned little pieces about it, but I now have my confirmed logo designed by Karen Rubado (see above - isn't it beautiful) and feel like I am close to being ready so I now feel good about talking about it to you all.

The name of my business is (as you can probably guess) Possibility Ltd. My main focus initially will be career coaching, recruitment and interview skills and CV development with life coaching added early next year. I am half way through my Diploma in Life Coaching which I am thoroughly enjoying and about to start taking some clients which is exceptionally exciting (and just a little bit scary) as well. In the more far off future, I would love to add creativity workshops as well as that would just be so so much fun.

It took me a long time to come up with the name for this business and I absolutely love Possibility. I wanted something that stood for my values and beliefs about how we can all have a great life and I think Possibility sums that up for me. It makes me so sad to see so many people feel they are completely trapped, that they can't move on from a job they hate because of things like financial commitments, status etc and who are so unhappy. I think we are supposed to be happy in our life and the work we do has a major impact on us and how we feel about ourselves and every aspect of our life.

For me, balance is incredibly important. I love being a mum and wife, being an artist and being a businesswoman. I need those areas to all be fulfilled to have that balance. And though I am probably working harder and more hours than I have ever done before in my life, I am so energised and excited about it and it feels so good that I can share the knowledge and experience that I gained in all my years in Human Resources to help enable people to make changes in their life and have the skills and knowledge to be able to make these changes.

Going through all the thinking and planning for this new business is also making me re-assess other parts of my life, e.g. what this blog is actually all about and what I want to communicate here. I'm still thinking about that but watch for some changes coming soon...

Have a fabulous day!

Trying out Derwint tinted charcoal

2009-07-19T22:33:00.002+12:00

Tonight I tried out a small tin of Derwent Tinted Charcoal that I bought over a year ago and then stashed away in my studio cupboard and promptly forgot about. After playing with the red chalk pencil this afternoon on Tayla's portrait, I had a memory trigger that I did have something like that and I found them.

I wasn't terribly experimental with the colours tonight, but they are lovely and velvety to use and I did this with a white chalk pencil, a tinted grey charcoal pencil and a tinted dark blue/black charcoal pencil.

Incidentally this angel belongs to an old gravestone that I drive past frequently. This gravestone is right at the top of a graveyard on a hill with it's back to the road and for months I drove past wanting to photograph it so I could draw or paint it as I find it so beautiful. A few weeks back, kids were in daycare, and I knew I was driving past there for a meeting so I left early and took my camera and took a number of photos. The sun was very bright that day so I would like to go back when it was more overcast to get more subtlety.

The reason I drew this tonight was as a study for a painting. I have an idea about incorporating this into a large work so I also prepared a canvas tonight so I am hoping to draw it out on there tomorrow. I must say, this was supposed to be a study and I spent about 3 hours on it, but it was thoroughly enjoyable and I am really pleased with the outcome. The picture isn't nearly as good as what it looks like in real life but you get the idea.

Portrait - Carbon pencil and chalk

2009-07-19T15:08:00.002+12:00

Yay for lazy Sunday afternoons! I finally finished this portrait of Tayla and because I wasn't so happy with progress just with the carbon pencil, I used some red chalk as well which I kind of like. Makes it a little softer I think.

We had a great weekend with the kids having an over-nighter at the grandparents so DH and I got to both sleep in. I thought I would still wake up at 6am, but didn't and actually slept through to 9am which was just lovely. The house seemed ridiculously quiet without two toddlers about and this morning I managed to finish a book with no interruptions and have a generally lazy time. Yay for grandparents.

Exhibition Photos

2009-07-17T13:46:00.002+12:00

Here is a photo of my pieces at the current annual NZ Art Guild Exhibition. Photo was taken by Helen Sherrock who graciously allowed me to borrow it for this blog given I forgot my camera on opening night.

I sold the three small ones on the night which was fantastic and I have all sorts of ideas swirling around in my head at the moment for the next type of series with resin and colour.

Tonight I will hand over my laptop to my 16 year old stepson so he and his father can play computer games against each other, and with the temptation to surf the net and read blogs taken away from me, I will head into my studio (albeit with a heater as it is pretty cold at the moment), put on some good music (loving Christine Kane right now) and paint.

Ngatahi - my other image

2009-07-12T20:06:00.002+12:00

Now that Ngatahi has been revealed, I can reveal my other painting I did for this. It was a fairly critical piece with the top of the South Island and the bottom of the North Island of New Zealand so I didn't want to post it prior to Ngatahi being unveiled as anyone that knows the shape of NZ would probably pick it out.

Trying to come up with a way of keeping the islands plus creating an artwork was hard with this piece and I ended up coming across a photo of some lilies in my electronic files and realised I could make them fit so that is what I did.

Anyway, I am working at the moment (yes on a Sunday evening) so need to stop my 5 minute blogging break and get back to some HR work.

Tayla - WIP carbon pencil

2009-07-08T08:28:00.002+12:00

My little girl is growing up. She will be 2 this September and everyday both her and her brother astound me with new words, new levels of comprehension and their imagination. They both draw draw draw all the time and I am constantly buying more colour pencils for them. For some reason they like to chew on and eat crayons so coloured pencils work best for them. And I can tell you that little pieces of crayon make it all the way to the other end!

On Sunday I started a new portrait of Tayla based on some photos I took that morning. The eye isn't right and needs to be fixed and I am hoping to get some more time at this one today as Wednesday is one of my Mummy/Artist days. The kids love seeing me draw although I am always scared they might try and improve my work with their pencils so I never leave a half-completed drawing anywhere near them. They love seeing the drawings and paintings of themselves though. They will think it normal to grow up surrounded by depictions of them at every age and stage.

Ngatahi unveiled

2009-07-02T21:16:00.002+12:00

I have just got home from the opening night of the annual NZ Art Guild Exhibition which was also the unveiling of Ngatahi (the collaborative project) and a charity art auction for the Mental Health Foundation of New Zealand.

As you can see above, this is Ngatahi and it is beautiful. It is large - 1.3 m x 1.3m and was sold tonight in the auction along with 14 other artworks that had been donated. All up nearly $7000 was raised for the MHF which is fabulous.

On a side note, I sold 3 out of my 4 pieces that I have in the exhibition tonight which was great. Would be even better if the fourth piece sells over the next month while the exhibition runs.

The pieces that sold were from my resin series which is great because I was interested in seeing the reaction to them in a public forum. It is so hard to photograph these as they are so textured with transparent glazes that in real life they are completely different. So I am really pleased with the sales tonight!

Ngatahi unveiling, art auction and exhibition opening

2009-06-30T11:37:00.002+12:00

The NZ Art Guild and the Mental Health Foundation would like to formally invite you to

"Out of the Blue" Charity Art Auction and Exhibition Opening night: Thursday 2nd July 2009 at 6:30pm - Free entry - All welcome Venue: Bruce Mason Centre, Cnr Hurstmere Rd and the Promenade,Takapuna Beach, Auckland Exhibition Open: 2nd - 30th July 2009. Mon to Fri 9 - 5 & Sat 10 - 4

Featuring the NZ Art Guild 2009 Collaborative Art Project "Ngatahi" a fantastic, single artwork created by 61 artists which will be revealed on opening night and auctioned off at this one of a kind, not to missed charity event

Well known NZ artists - Nancy Frazer, Sophia Elise, Tanya Dann, Beate Minderjahn, Jennifer Christiansen, Julia Dungan, LisaSarah, Natahsa Wheeler, Alison Mulgrew, Jane Bold and Terri Dangen - have also donated fantastic artworks which will auctioned.

100% of the proceeds from the art auction will be donated to the Mental Health Foundation of NZ.

To coincide with this event 42 artists from around NZ will be having a month long exhibition of original, diverse artworks depicting "Our Country, Our People, Our Culture"

We would be delighted if you would join us in the opening celebrations of this fantastic charity event - please forward this invitation on to your friends, family, colleagues or anyone else who may be interested. For full details about this event and to view the auction catalogue go to http://www.nzartguild.co.nz/ and click on the MHF Charity Auction button.Or take a virtual tour http://www.gallerycentric.com/ (sponsored by Gallery Centric)

Creative Dreaming

2009-06-27T11:24:00.002+12:00

For some reason I am waking up each morning with all these creative dreams swirling in my head. Not just for painting or drawing but all sorts of things. This morning I could see children's t-shirts with screen-prints on them whereas the other day it was women's skirts with layers and embellishments and all sorts. It is inspiring me to try some new things and I really really want to find a screen-printing course as I think that would be heaps of fun.

And if you ever wanted to know how to get a dog to patiently pose for 30 odd photos - hold a tiny teddy biscuit up by the lens and you get some beautiful shots.

Connor will be 8 years old this September and was not my favourite being in the world this morning, nor our cat's favourite being. Yesterday I ran out of cat food so I dragged myself out to the supermarket in the dark and in the rain last night and got a box with 12 pouches in it. Put them on a shelf in the garage about 1.2m up. This morning when Lucy (the cat) summoned the servant (me) to feed her, I found an empty box on the floor to my bemusement. Then I turned to my studio part of the garage with the carpet on the floor to find 12 foil packets of cat food ripped open and completely cleaned out of anything resembling food. So obviously my lovely dog decided he needed a midnight snack last night so decided to get nice and comfy on my carpet to tear open each individual packet to fullfil his need.

And for those of you that say dogs don't remember when they have done wrong - that is a load of crock. When the dog bounds down the stairs with you, gets to the bottom and then suddenly starts slinking and crawling - you know he's done something and has just remembered it. Normally Connor is a really well-behaved dog but when it comes to food, I think he decides the punishment is worth it. And today he is being punished by having to stay home with me and the kids while his father goes to work without him. However given my children's tendency to ensure he gets well fed with anything they don't want, it probably isn't a major punishment.

WIP - Figure in oils

2009-06-20T13:53:00.002+12:00

It is a glorious sunny winter's day here in Auckland (yet again) which is such a change from the constant rain we normally get in winter. It does mean that it is colder but I can live with that. I have just had a blissful hour and a half in the studio while my children sleep. That is a biggie this week as naptime has been a battle most days with my son who is going through a stage at the moment (if you read between the lines a "stage" means lots and lots of tantrums as part of the terrible two's).

Normally on a sunny day I like to have the garage door up and sit in the sun to paint, but it is too cold today so instead I had the fan heater at my feet and my ipod on and painted to Wycliff Jean then Tracy Chapman and it was great.

I still have a long long way to go on this one but I am enjoying the slow process of building up the form - it almost feels like I am trying to sculpt it and each time I have a crack at this one, I build her up just a little bit more. I still don't know how I will do the background. I just threw some red paint on today just to see how that would work and I quite like that so I think she will stay sitting on something red but it might look a look different to this. It is a fairly large painting as you can see from my easel (which is not a small easel) in the photo but I am really enjoying the journey with this one.

Tayla's portrait in oils - finished

2009-06-17T12:15:00.003+12:00

I finally had a session on this last Friday and managed to finish it. Reasonably happy with it but look forward to future improvements with portraits. I think you just have to do it and each time it gets better (except for the odd one in between which gets thrown out).

Last night my little girl was diagnosed with asthma so that is something that we will be keeping a close eye on. We don't know yet if she will get it mild or bad, so I am just really grateful that my husband is an asthmatic because he picked it up last night when it was a gentle wheeze when I thought it was just a blocked nose. The Doctor said that not many parents pick it up so quickly as he did so I am really grateful for that. I spent the night on a mattress in the kids room so I could listen to her breathing during the night, so needless to say I didn't sleep well, even though she did. I am also grateful that we live in a very warm dry house.

So lots of life challenges going on at the moment which must be all happening for a reason - I would just like to know some of the reasons now rather than waiting for the clarity of hindsight. The Life Coaching Diploma I am currently completing is really great for enforcing some self-reflection. We have to work through the process ourselves that we will use with clients, so that is really interesting and why I am looking for the connections of why things happen, especially when the same type of challenge happens over and over again where there is obviously a lesson to be learnt - I just need to figure out what.

But the sun is shining and it is a crystal clear winter's day here in Auckland - cold, but preferable to the warmer rainy weather that we otherwise get, so while the kids are sleeping (not that they have dropped off yet), I am going to lie in the sun on the couch and listen to my ipod - Bliss.

Almost finished - Tayla's portrait

2009-05-29T15:52:00.002+12:00

I had a good session on Tayla's portrait today and I think one more session will finish it. I still need some final glazes on her face to get the skintone right and the eyes need more work (including adding eyelashes) and the clothes need some more work as well. I'm not happy with the hair either - I think some of the problem with that is that in the photo her hair has quite a reddish strawberry tinge but in real life she is a real wee blondie now so I will play around with that some more.

Felt so damn good to get a brush into oil paint again though......

Hunger

2009-05-27T12:34:00.003+12:00

I am hungry - I want to paint and I want to draw and I want to create.

Today is the first day I have felt well in a week. My husband and I were struck down with a horrendous bug and were very very sick. Was a slow process to feel better each day and manage something more than a supplies trip to the supermarket. Today I feel good and I have just meandered around in my studio, moving things around, putting things away in preparation for fulfilling this hunger I have to create. I am craving it, I want a pencil in my hand, I want to be mixing colours with oil paint (isn't oil paint just the yummiest texture ever).

There are so many other priorities that are calling me right now - things that didn't get completed while I was sick, so I won't start anything right this minute even though the pull is so so strong, but perhaps, just perhaps, if I do some of what I have to do and tick off some of the to do list, tonight might be the night to put the heater on, pull on my apron and paint.

resin resin resin

2009-05-17T14:23:00.003+12:00

Another week has passed (flown by) and life is full. Highlights included my first teleconference for the life coaching diploma I have started and my hometown rugby team (the Canterbury Crusaders) winning their match against the Auckland Blues last night. Even though this year will mark a decade living in Auckland, once you are a Cantab, you can never ever ever support Auckland in any sport. Just gets ingrained in you if you are raised in Christchurch. Must be something in the water (which is a damn sight tastier than Auckland water - must be those provincial pride additives they sneak in).

Lowlights involved being a bit concerned about Carter as he is looking pale at the moment but the Dr has ruled out anything serious being wrong and we are off to the Naturopath this week as I think it is food intolerance's again. He has a sensitive system like his mother.

This piece above is the largest resin piece to go into Cafe Apollo (hopefully this week) when I do the next swap around. I have some extra pieces left to resin but most are done and all ready to go except for titles. Think I will be placing them all around the walls and throwing names at them to see what sticks. They look so pretty all stacked together with the glossiness of the resin and the different colours. Lots of small ones, so will be interesting to see if they sell in this market (the market where a huge amount of people have not been directly affected financially in any way but are so hooked into what "the media" says that they have changed their spending behaviour and actually dragging NZ into this recession). Soapbox speech over. Talk soon.

Ngatahi - NZ Art Giuld collaborative project 2009

2009-05-10T19:28:00.002+12:00

Each year the NZ Art Guild does a collaborative project which is made up of a number of small pieces by individual artists which all together form one larger image. This year I will once again be painting 2 pieces for this, and this is one of them. I can't show the other piece yet as it is a critical piece for the overall image and I think it would let the cat out of the bag so to speak if I did.

This is Shag Rock, down on Sumner beach in Christchurch. The title of the Collaborative project is Ngatahi (which means Together in Maori) and the theme is Our Land. Christchurch is where I grew up and this particular beach has many memories for me from my childhood, teenagehood and adulthood. So it is a part of this beautiful country that I love dearly. I also love the ocean and I think with New Zealand being so small and narrow, that going to the beach is part of life. I find it hard to comprehend when I think about people who live in the middle of large land-locked countries who potentially may never experience the ocean in their lives and I feel grateful that it is part of mine.

This year, the entire proceeds from the auction of Ngatahi will be going to the Mental Health Foundation of New Zealand which is a fantastic charity to support. Also, my lovely husband will be assisting Sophia Elise (Manager of the NZ Art Guild ) and I with doing the practical building of the frame for this. Damn useful being married to a builder. Tomorrow I will be heading over to Sophia's to do the initial putting together of Ngatahi. I can't wait to see all the small paintings that have been sent back. They are all 150 x 150mm.

and why you should never have a white duvet when you have a black dog

2009-05-09T13:43:00.003+12:00

Just a quick photo taken with my blackberry when I headed up to bed the other night. Why I bought a white duvet, I just don't know. I think it was better to be in blissful ignorance of just how much dog hair there is, rather than all the extra washing I do now in my battle to rid myself of black dog hairs from our bed linen.

I know, we could kick him off the bed, but he is getting older (8 this year) and it is getting colder and we are soft.

life is good!

2009-05-09T13:24:00.003+12:00

It is May, almost half way through the year and life is busy and great. I am juggling lots of things at the moment and managing those successfully by being slack in some other areas, ie updating my blog. However I have just had a really good session during nap time when I resined 6 pieces - 4 small, 1 medium and 1 large.

As the resin is currently setting and will probably take a bit longer than normal due to how colddddddd (teeth chattering) it is here in Auckland today, I had to take some photos of the pieces lying down but you can get the picture.

After I resined, I got some more work done on Tayla's portrait. This is a very ugly stage and there is heaps and heaps to do on this, but I thought you might be interested in the progress. I did the background today because it is heaps easier to do the hair after the background is laid in as I learnt from Carter's portrait that green hair just doesn't work.

My new business is all coming along really really well and I am immersed in research and workshop development. I start a diploma in Life Coaching next week as well to provide additional skills for my career coaching programme and I am so excited about that. I hope to have a website developed and up and running in the near future for my business.

Art is still happening, but it is my relaxer (if I can invent a word) rather than my work. I truly believe it is so important to have passions and art is that for me, but this new direction I am going with my business is also a passion and I don't feel that either is exclusive to the other. In fact, feeling inspired and fulfilled by my art, my work and my family brings me my balance and it is really important to me that I maintain that as I am determined not to lose it after searching for it for so many years.

Grisaille underpainting in oil - portrait of Tayla

2009-04-29T13:55:00.002+12:00

It has almost been 2 weeks since I last posted! Life is busy and good and while I have been working on several resin pieces, they are waiting to be resined so not at a great stage to take photos off.

However today (while my lovely children were supposed to be asleep) I started this grisaille underpainting of Tayla so that I can have the matching pair to go with Carter's one. Actually the Tayla in question was sound asleep while I was doing this, however her brother has since woken her up and has had no sleep at all and I can currently hear the "conversations" going on in their bedroom through the baby monitor while I type this.

Here is it next to Carter's portrait so I could check size wise and composition wise that they will match. Sorry about the glare it is a beautiful sunny day today so the garage door is open so sun can stream in. As it is supposed to be Autumn and raining today, I am enjoying the sun.

I will do some more work on this underpainting before I start the glazes, I just want this initial layer to dry first. Will keep you posted.

Cat picture with kids artwork

2009-04-17T08:15:00.002+12:00

Just a quickie to show the cat picture I did to match the elephant that I posted recently. For the elephant I used a template from Sarah Jane Studios but for this one I drew my own template, asking my children for approval. It is now hanging above Tayla's cot to match the elephant hanging over Carter's cot. The frame is an 11" x 14" and the picture itself minus matting is A4 so they are decent sized pictures. The kids loved that I was using their artwork.

Oil portrait - Carter - completed!

2009-04-12T16:11:00.003+12:00

Here it is, the final completed painting of Carter. It is 300 x 300 x 40mm. Took me a few months but I am pretty happy with it, especially as it is my first completed portrait in oils.

I've taken some photos at various points so I thought I would post them here as there definitely were some ugly stages that this one went through (even though the subject matter is exceptionally beautiful and I am not biased at all).

Here is the original grisaille underpainting. I did this with burnt umber and solvent just to focus on the tonal side of things, mainly with his face. I didn't really bother with the hair.

Once that was dry I started with the glazes. Initially these were all transparent and I was trying to remember to keep the red ones on the cheeks and the yellow on the forehead.

Then when I did my first glaze with titanium white with liquin, all of a sudden he looked like a ghost and I think that was when I got scared and left it for 3 months.

I am now trying to find a photo of Tayla so that she can be my next subject. I am tossing up whether to do the next one with a grisaille underpainting as well or try it without. I did find that his skin did end up really luminous which is what I wanted and I think that may be because of all the layers of glazes.

It is interesting to look back at these stages and it does encourage me to keep the faith when they are going through the ugly stages!

Some progress on Carter's oil portrait

2009-04-09T12:11:00.003+12:00

If you have been reading my blog for a while, you may recall back in December last year, I undertook a grisaille underpainting for a portrait of Carter. I then did a number of glazes on his face then got too scared to go any further in case I wrecked it. So it has been hanging on the wall of my studio since December untouched.

Last night, I really felt like painting, I prepared a large canvas for a figure composition I have worked out but as I couldn't do anything more on that, I decided to just go for it with Carter's portrait and I had a really good session and ended up going to bed far too late.

I am really pleased how this is coming along now and I have got over my fear of stuffing up. That is really paralysing and I think that particular fear is one that stops people from really living their passions and dreams. I've been really looking at my self-development over the past few months and last night I didn't even think that I could stuff this up, I just got into it and loved the process without that fear and worry which probably impacts performance when you do fall into that trap.

I just tried to have another crack at it now but the background is still wet so he started getting green hair which is not that ideal, so I am looking forward to refining the last of his face and the hair (which needs a fair bit of work). The lips are a bit too red too so they need to be toned down as well. I do love how the skin is really luminous in real life and I think that is from the grisaille underpainting and then the glazes upon glazes.

So in the word's of Nike "just do it". I'm glad I did and I can't wait to finish it.

Elephant

2009-04-07T12:29:00.002+12:00

I have not been doing any of my own art over the past week as life, children and business are keeping me busy, however yesterday I finally did this cool elephant from Sarah Jane Studios. She kindly has offered up the templates for the elephant, a seal and a sparrow for personal use. You use your child's artwork for the animal. On re-reading the instructions today, I actually did this the wrong way, as you are supposed to cut out the shape from the child's artwork and stick that on white paper. Instead I did a trick of my husband's which was to not read the instructions and I cut out the shape on white watercolour paper and then stuck the artwork behind.

I came across Sarah Jane's work on the Nesting blog which gives me lots of inspiration decorating wise for houses and kid's stuff so if you are that way inclined, check out Nesting as well.

I just loved these animals though and what a cool way to preserve all those masterpieces that your kids come home with. Carter was very taken with this and it is now hanging over his bed. I just need to do one for Tayla now. She is into dogs, so I might have to make my own template for that one. The white frame and mat looks great in the kids room as well.

Well at least I tried...

2009-04-01T19:26:00.004+12:00

I started a herbal detox on Monday and after the third consecutive day of pounding headaches and extreme tiredness I quit this afternoon. I would like to finish it but I need to function as well. So today, Wednesday, which is normally my mummy/art day, I did nothing. Luckily my kids were in great moods and happy to play with Thomas the tank engine or Duplo so I could sit in silence on the couch as reading hurt, using the computer hurt and TV hurt.

At 3pm I decided enough was enough and I had a chocolate Freddo to try and raise my blood sugar levels (which are obviously used to being at quite high levels) and some yummy toast with vegemite. And within an hour my headache was gone and I finally felt alive again.

So I might try a more gradual change in reducing some of the bad (but yummy) stuff in my diet rather than getting all enthusiastic and trying to cut everything out at once. Incidentally my 18 month old daughter has a new name for food which is "yummy". She stands in the pantry, calls to me, looks up and says "yummy? yummy?". She likes her food.

And the flower photo is just one I took a few months ago and re-found today and thought I would put in here to look pretty.

Carter - carbon pencil portrait

2009-03-29T20:22:00.002+12:00

WIP Joy - Carbon Pencil on Arches HP A4

Yesterday afternoon my children were happy and best friends (makes it an easier day than when they are not best friends) so I pulled out my camera and got heaps of beautiful photos including heaps of them both together.

Carter was enjoying the posing and one photo caught this expression which I had to draw. So last night when watching Quantum Solace (pretty damn average) I started on this one. I still have some refinement to go and there are some areas that are not quite right yet but I will let it simmer for a few days and then make the final adjustments. Carter and I had some quality Mummy/Son time this morning when we went to The Wiggles concert and it was fabulous. I don't think Carter quite believed it when he saw the Wiggles come out onto the stage and we had great seats, on the floor, 11 rows from the front so he was completely blown away.

On other news, on Friday, Sophia Elise, Julia Dungan and I spent time painting, preparing and sending out the packs for this year's NZ Art Guild Collaborative project. I'm really excited about what the end version will look like and just need to figure out what I will paint on my piece. This year the entire profit from the auction of the artwork will go towards the Mental Health Foundation and it feels really good to be involved with a great organisation that doesn't get any government funding. So stay tuned and I am sure I will be posting images once it is all put together (which is when my lovely practical husband comes into play) and is all unveiled!

The night closes in - another resin piece

2009-03-26T20:22:00.003+12:00

The night closes in - mixed media and resin 4" x 4"

Life has been busy busy busy which is why my posting has become somewhat erratic. I have been doing a heap of work on my new business which I hope to launch in a few months time. As you may be aware, I am an Human Resources Consultant in my other life (apart from being Mummy, artist and accounts lady/landlord for our property businesses) and I am now moving more into the area of Career Coaching. I am currently developing my workshops and material and doing stacks of research and I have also got into the Enterprise Training Programme which means I can attend business workshops in areas such as Marketing, Pricing and Costing, Branding etc, and all for free! Yes, the New Zealand Government pays the training providers to provide this training for the owners of small and medium sizes businesses (if you meet the criteria and complete a business assessment) and it is fully funded from New Zealand Trade and Enterprise.

I went on the first course this Wednesday which was developing a marketing plan and it was excellent. I can also see how these skills can also transfer to my art if I decide to really start marketing it.

I am still completely into resin and the piece above is a small 4" x 4" which is a really nice size to play with. I resined 6 pieces on the weekend and I have a number more in progress so hopefully soon I will have enough to replace my art at Cafe Apollo with this series.

Production Factory

2009-03-21T13:07:00.003+12:00

I am currently enjoying some blissful silence as everyone in this household is currently asleep except for me. I am dreading the day when Carter no longer needs his daytime sleep as that is my sanity break and art break during the day and I really enjoy it.

I know I have been silent on this blog for over a week but life has been very very busy. We got some good news re our business stresses and I am all signed up, accepted and booked in for some business courses through the NZ Trade and Enterprise Scheme for my own business and the direction I am heading in for that. So life is good, kids are happy, boisterous and messy and I am working on heaps of small mixed media resin pieces all at once and feeling like a production factory.

It does make sense to work this way as it is much more efficient as each of these pieces require multiple glazes and layers and layers of paint and ink before they are ready to resin which also means lots of drying time. However it is strange to move from different pieces all the time which is why I feel factory-like.

I am over-due to replace my art at Cafe Apollo and I wanted a consistent theme so I have decided to have a full range of these resin abstracted-landscape and seascape pieces and also have quite a few smaller pieces which will then be lower in price and more suitable for the cafe environment.

Tranquility and the art of juggling

2009-03-11T11:40:00.004+12:00

Thomas day at Glenbrook last Sunday - Carter's best day out ever

Another strange blog post title but pertinent to my current state of mind when I think about my life and how much it has changed since I had children. Two and a half years ago exactly today, I was finishing my very last day doing an HR contract at Bendon. I had loved that contract and enjoyed every second of it and while it was originally intended to be 5 weeks, it turned into 5 months with me finishing at 4pm on the 11 September 2006. Why do I remember that date, well because at 4am on the 12 September 2006 I woke up thinking, yep think this is it and later that day Carter arrived and rather angrily screamed his displeasure for his first fifteen minutes of life on the outside. Then when he was just over 4 months old, I found to my surprise that his sister had sneaked into being and I was 6 weeks pregnant.

So, as you can imagine, life changed substantially with one baby and then having another one 4 days before Carter turned one, meant it changed even more.

However that first year (which I had two years in a row) is now over and I am enjoying having two munchkins and it is quite freeing to think that I don't have to have any more unless I really do get a strong urge (which is nowhere in sight at this point of time) and this year I do feel like I have more control of my life, even though it is an absolute juggling act and I feel like I am several different Melissa's depending on what day it is and what I need to do that day.

This year the kids are in daycare 3 days a week, which are then my work days. At least half a day I do the boring horrid accounting related stuff for our construction and property businesses. I don't enjoy it but I do get a sense of achievement when it is up to date and knowing that all tax and gst is sorted and accounted for. The rest of the 3 days are a mixture of doing some small HR contracts (which bring in some money) and working on my business plan, materials, programmes etc for the business I want to launch later this year (which of course brings in no money at the moment).

Wednesday and Friday are my two kid days so Wednesday (today) is lots of playing with kids and painting and drawing while supervising them playing with each other. With studying art part-time, I have to log 15 hours per week so I need to juggle that within these two days and then evenings and weekend. Wednesday is also when I try and find some interesting resources and reference material for the NZ Art Guild as I am a moderator on the forum as well as providing hands-on support to Sophia Elise the manager of the guild here in Auckland, and on Friday I try and catch up with friends and have play dates with our kids.

So it is a juggle, and while some weeks go to plan, other weeks just don't and nothing gets done in their allocated space. The "mummy guilt's" are part and parcel of juggling and I got them the worst time ever when I didn't make the Christmas party at daycare last December because I had meetings that I couldn't shift. And it makes me feel sometimes like I don't know how to define who I am because there are so many facets of my life that don't necessarily come across as interconnecting, but they do because they have to and because it is me. So today, here I am in my "mummy clothes" which now have dried banana and snot (not mine) over them. I have blue paint on my forehead and in my hair from when I was dashing up to the studio to do some glazes earlier.

Tomorrow is work day again, and I will be completing the work on a small contract I am doing. I will drop the kids at daycare, come straight home into my office and focus all day without having to have one eye constantly surveying the location and activities of each child. If I need to meet someone, I can pull on a business suit and feel like I am professional Melissa again, far removed from the snot and paint camouflage I have on today.

And yes, better mention Tranquility, well, that is the title of this resin piece which is the fourth piece that got hung at the Mercure Winsdor Hotel on Monday. And I guess tranquility and fulfillment is what we are searching for isn't it. At the end of the day, business stresses and juggling aside, I really like my life. I don't want to work full-time as I enjoy my days with the kids and yet being a full-time Mum would drive me crazy. Working part-time and also being my own boss works for me and has enabled me to have the time to be creative and escape through my art. Now I can't imagine going a week without drawing or painting. But I don't want to work as an artist (although that may change in the far off future), as I am fulfilled by being good in my professional career, balanced by art and my beautiful children (who would be even more beautiful if they would stop talking in their room and go to sleep!).

So while life is a juggle, I like all the balls I have in the air, so it's all good!

The art of giving...and another resin piece

2009-03-10T08:41:00.003+12:00

'Icy Morning' Mixed Media and Resin 600 x 475 x40mm

I have been pondering the concept of Giving this morning and how it is a fundamental requirement of human beings to give to other human beings if you want to be happy and live a good life. It feels good to give so why do we convince ourselves so much of the time that we need to hoard our gifts (whether these are access to money, services etc) for ourselves and our immediate family rather than recognising that we are all connected and for one to have more than one needs and another to have none, affects us all.

Personally, I have noticed how I have pulled back on giving in the past few months and I shouldn't have. Our business has been affected by the credit crunch with access to funding having been difficult which really sucks when you are half way through building two big houses, go to top up to get the money to complete them and get told that the bank no longer funds construction. While we are coming to the end of this hard period now and have a funding solution that we are in the final stages of, we have had to pull tighter and tighter to get through and our personal spending has pretty much been nil.

While we lived tight in the first few years of starting our property businesses, we had a few years when money was good and we didn't have to really think about it. Our assets were growing and if we saw something we wanted, we could get it (within reason of course). For me, it was buying books as I am quite addicted to books and can easily spend a week in Borders. So we used to be fairly free about giving to various charities as well and I think we must have ended up on a database of people known to give as we get rung up pretty often.

When things started getting tight, I stopped giving. A month or so ago, I saw a man selling pens for Save the Children fund. I have always bought these pens in the past but at $20 per pen I chose not to support that. And I felt like crap! At the end of the day, even though we are going through a temporary hard patch with our business, we are still exceptionally lucky. My husband and I have a very good marriage, our children are amazing incredible creatures and we have assets, even if we don't have a great inflow of cash right now. It is so easy to get hung up on what is wrong with your life that you forget how great it really is. Maybe I should have given that $20, I could have got through without it. I think I got so used to having money in the past, that now when I take out the weekly budget of cash for our personal requirements, I like the security of having it in my purse. But to give, would have bought better returns to me than the security I felt of having it there in case I needed it for our family.

I have been doing a lot of reading recently about the law of attraction etc and while I am still working out my own feelings about those philosophies, I do firmly believe that you get what you give. And if I still give, even when I feel like hoarding for personal security, who knows what good things will come my way. There is no reason why so many people in this world do not have access to clean water, adequate food to eat and shelter in a safe environment. If we who are so lucky to live in countries where we are free to succeed and have a good life, could consider that we are all connected and for a child to die of starvation in Africa hurts all of us, then we could make this world a better place.

I think we get hung up on the concept that there are limitations and that we personally will need to give up what we have in order for others to have enough. But that is not true. There is enough water, food, shelter, money etc for everyone in this world to live a good life. It is how it is managed or hoarded that means currently some have much more than they will ever need and others have none.

Some statistics to back this up, in 2004, the global spending on weapons was $900 billion. If the USA alone froze spending on military and weapons for 18 minutes only, there would be enough money to feed, house, clothe and educate all people who die of starvation for a whole year. And in four years up to 2003, the USA, UK and France earned more income from arms exports to Africa, Asia, the Middle East and Latin America than they provided in aid.

I have hope that our world is moving to a higher level of consciousness. I have great hopes for Obama from a global perspective and if we all just gave just a little bit more, just how great could we make all our lives?

Life Drawing Workshop

2009-03-08T13:07:00.002+12:00

Here are a few part-completed drawings from a life drawing workshop I attended yesterday. I was really looking forward to this and I came out feeling frustrated which I talked about on my art school blog if anyone that reads this is interested in hearing about that.

Didn't get a chance to do some more completed drawings but I was pleased at how far I have come in terms of being able to get the proportions pretty much right on the page.

This one was from an interesting exercise where we had to look at the whole body in terms of cylinders and only put the outside lines down once we had completed the figure.

The model was great though and did some excellent poses. I do need to do more life drawing as it is one of the best ways to improve drawing ability, I just wish I hadn't come out of this class feeling so frustrated.

Resin and RED and the search for not needing approval

2009-03-03T09:11:00.003+12:00

How is that for a title of a blog post! And I have just realised that I have hit the 4000 views mark just now which is fairly exciting. Obviously a few people like to check in with what I am doing which is nice to know.

I have continued working on these abstracted landscapes with resin and I love them. I finished this one yesterday. Unfortunately it is so hard to take an accurate photo with resin and this particular one just glows in real life. I still haven't come up with a title yet, so still mulling on that, however size wise it is 600 x 450 x 40mm.

I have been thinking about why I am using these materials and why I am suddenly doing this more abstract work and why I am loving the process and the outcome. What I am coming it is that these are about a feeling I have of a sense of place, not the physical representation of it. And because it is a feeling and sense, I first close my eyes and imagine myself where it is and then identify my feelings about it and then translate that into bands of colour. I have so many ideas I want to express this way and I am finding it really exciting.

I also love the tactileness of these. Every time I walk past one on my wall, I stop and touch it, I feel the smoothness of the resin and see the suspended gold underneath. I am still trying to work out what exactly makes me want to touch it - perhaps it is the solidity of the resin and the knowledge I can touch the artwork without damaging it, I'm not sure.

Another interesting outcome from this series of work is that I don't give a damn about whether other people like it or not. In fact my husband who is normally my biggest supporter, doesn't get them and prefers my realistic work. But I am absolutely okay about that because I love them and I will keep on with these for a while yet. And other people who have seen them in real life have had quite different responses to my husband so that's okay too.

Why that is important for me, is that in the past I have been quite concerned with receiving the approval of others in order to feel validated in myself. About 6 years ago I was going through a Human Synergistics course prior to going through the training to become accredited to use and deliver these materials myself. During this, you do a survey on yourself and then get 5 other people to complete it on you too. You end up with 2 circumplexes and can compare the difference in how you see yourself and how others see you, as well as understanding whether your behaviours fall in the construction areas or not. These tools are fabulous and backed up with huge amount of research from Harvard and all the big names. Anyhow, my results showed that other people saw me as quite high in requiring approval whereas I didn't see that in myself. This really upset me and I got home, burst into tears in front of my husband saying that I was so upset about this result and how I didn't think it was true.

My very honest husband said "Look what you're saying, you are so upset about what other people think about you, perhaps there is something there". That was a bit of an ah-ha moment and I realised that I obviously was very concerned about how I was viewed by others and their approval of me that it upset me so much when I received feedback that I viewed as negative. And a very important step in the development cycle is to accept and recognise where you are at so that you can then move forward and develop more constructive behaviours.

So I do think I have moved on with this since then, especially in my professional career life, but with my art and perhaps because I am still relatively new at this, I still have required validation from other people liking what I do in order to determine if it is "good". But not with these, I love them and I don't need others approval and I will keep going with them.

Completed portrait of Carter using carbon pencils

2009-02-25T11:41:00.003+12:00

Here is the completed drawing of Carter to go with Tayla. The photo is terrible as the lighting is so dull today and the scan was even worse. So hopefully you get the idea anyway. I tried to follow advice about making the background white but as I use Photoshop Elements I think it is slightly different in that area with the levels so I played around a bit but couldn't work it out. I would like to get the full Photoshop at same stage as I would love to learn it properly.

And here are both drawings framed. I will be packaging these up very well and couriering them this afternoon so that they arrive at Mum's house tomorrow on her birthday.

I only did Carter's one this morning as I had a horrendous headache last night and couldn't do much let alone draw. I have cut out sugary foods and drinks (again) as since Christmas my sweet tooth addiction had been getting worse and worse. So for the last two days I have had a bad headache which starts in the afternoon and I am sure it is due to my blood sugar levels having to adjust to less sugar. I am hesitant to take panadol for it as I think my body just needs to sort itself out itself so my DH gave me a good head massage last night and I have been sculling back water. I have been addicted to Just Juice Bubbles for a few months which for people outside of NZ is 50% fruit juice and 50% lemonade and exceptionally yummy especially in the heat of summer. So that is gone and no longer in the house.

Pay it Forward - Giveaway

2009-02-25T08:24:00.003+12:00

I was reading Chavah Kinloch's blog this morning and came across this Pay it Forward giveaway. As I was the lucky 2nd person to comment, I will be looking forward to receiving my gift from her. I am lucky enough to own two small paintings that Chavah did and I love them dearly and they hang in our bedroom so I am very excited about what I might get as she is a very creative individual.

So here are the rules!

1. Be one of the first THREE bloggers to leave a comment on this post, which then entitles you to a handmade item from me (yeah for handmade!).

2. If you are one of the first three to make a comment, you are a winner! And you then agree to post this challenge on your own blog, meaning that you will pay it forward, creating a handmade gift -anything!- for the first THREE bloggers who leave a comment on YOUR post about this giveaway!

3. The gift that you send to your 3 friends can be from any price range and you have 365 days to make/ship your item. This means you should be willing to maintain your blog at least until you receive your gift and have shipped your gifts. And, remember it’s the spirit and the thought that count!

4. When you receive your gift, blog about it! If you are not one of the first three to comment on this post, you can still play along. Go ahead and start your own Pay It Forward chain, and encourage your blogging friends to do the same! It's all about paying it forward.

I can say now that I will endeavour to send these out way before the 365 days and it will be art, either a drawing or a painting. I am quite happy to do a drawing of someone that you love so if you are one of the three winners, feel free to email me a photo if that is what you want and I can draw it. Otherwise I will have to come up with something myself.

Portrait - carbon pencil and charcoal pencil

2009-02-23T14:07:00.002+12:00

I am just having a quick break from working to post this which is done on A4 Arches HP paper and is framed and now sitting waiting for me to draw the matching one of my son so they can be couriered down to Christchurch for my Mum's birthday this Thursday. She is not consistent with logging onto the internet so I am hoping that trend will continue this week and that she won't see my blog as she doesn't know I am doing these for her.

Still haven't finished Connor and need too as there is not much left to do. I am definitely a starter and as I have drawn all the difficult interesting stuff I am not that inspired to do the finishing off and I have to be very focused to get that done.

And we are still watching LOST and are so into it. Just started season 3 last night. Our local video store has all the DVD's to rent so it is great. I don't think I could handle watching it on TV as it would move too slow for me week by week but when you watch it on DVD it is like a long long movie and I like all the unexplained stuff. I enjoy sci-fi anyway so trying to figure out what it all means is lots of fun. And I am refusing to look on the internet to find out what happens and it means I can sit and draw while watching so it's all good!

I am still here

2009-02-21T09:52:00.003+12:00

Just a quickie to say that I still alive, just not doing much art over the past week as business has taken over and I have been working hard. I haven't touched Connor's portrait for over a week and there isn't much left to do so I need to get onto it. Will post again once I have finished this as well as a large resin piece that just needs one more coat of resin. Back soon.....

Progress on coloured pencil portrait of Connor - my black lab

2009-02-09T21:04:00.003+12:00

Just a quick update of how Connor's portrait is going. I tried to scan it as it is too dark to photograph it (late at night you see) but because this is larger than A4 it goes off the side of the scanner pad, hence the fact he is missing part of his left ear.

I need to go back over parts of the fur to even out areas but I am enjoying working on this and pleased that I was able to attack the nose tonight. For some reason the nose scared me and I thought I might stuff it up. Because the photo reference was quite dark around the nose I kept on lying down on the floor to gaze at my dog's nose close up. It is damn useful having him around to check things like fur direction. We have had Connor for 7 years and I don't think I ever realised quite how his nostrils looked until tonight!

More resined seascapes and the start of a black lab portrait

2009-02-07T14:20:00.003+12:00

I am seriously having so much fun with these reduced and abstracted seascapes and resin. This is the small triptych I did - each canvas is 150 x 150 x 40mm or 6"x6". I had prepared these months ago with different types of paper collaged onto the canvas and then gesso'd over. They also have gold leaf embedded in the resin. Once again it is really really hard to take a proper photo of resined artwork so here are my best attempts.

Here they are each individually. Sorry for the glare picked up by the resin but hopefully you get the idea.

I am so enjoying these and it is such a fun break from the more realistic work I tend to do with oils. I have 3 more in process still with the turquoise but introducing my favourite Australian Gold pigment as well so once they are complete I will post them here too.

I have been full of inspiration for various seascapes and landscapes in this way and have come up with a whole pile of ideas and colours in my sketchbook. Watercolour pencils are brilliant for working this type of thing out. I'm also thinking of ways I can embed and suspend things in the resin layers.

And I also started another portrait of our beautiful black lab Connor last night. As I may have mentioned before we don't watch TV (except for the news) but if there is a series we are interested in we will watch the DVD's. I've had the first series of LOST sitting in the cupboard for months on end since I picked it up for a ridiculous price so we have started watching that. I need to keep my hands occupied when watching so I started this piece. And in terms of LOST, not sure if we will continue with it after season 1, undecided at this point as some things are annoying us but the jury will remain out until we have got further into it.

This is coloured pencil on Stonehenge and it larger than A4. Not sure what the finished size will be but it is pretty much almost the size of his head in real life.

Resin and textures again

2009-02-06T08:49:00.002+12:00

Over the past few days I have had lots of fun playing with with acrylics, texture and then resin! I haven't done anything like this since early last year and it was a nice break from oils and I think I may continue to play for a while.

The painting is an abstracted seascape. I wanted to capture the feeling when all you see is an expanse of turquoise and the sky and sea are almost merged. I used heaps of glazes of both acrylics and acrylic ink and then rubbed gold leaf into the sea part to represent the preciousness of our oceans and its living treasures. The canvas had been quite heavily textured with various modelling pastes.

Once the first layer of resin went hard, I put more gold leaf on top and then resined again so when you see it in real life, you can see the gold suspended in the resin.

It is really really really hard to take photos of resined artworks so I have given a few options below so you can get the idea.

This one shows a bit of the interference gold that I used between glazes which gets reflected on certain angles.

And this one shows the extreme reflections that you get with resin. I love resin and it was so much fun to play with it again.

I also did 3 small ones in a similar vein that I will post later once I get some decent photos of them. I may do a bit of a series with these more abstracted landscapes, seascapes with resin, I need to do some brainstorming with my sketchbook and get some inspiration but they were so much fun to do and in this hot hot weather we have at the moment, the layers of glazing dry pretty much within minutes so you are not waiting. It works out well with looking after the munchkins as I can dash up to my studio, do a glaze and then come back and be mummy.

And speaking of the munchkins (well one of them), my gorgeous son came outside with me this morning to help me take these photos and decided to pose for me with his beloved Hairy (was a Hairy Maclary toy which has been so well loved he has lost most of his hair and half his nose and I have done numerous plastic surgery operations with a needle to keep him going). I am thinking I may have to draw this photo as I love it so much.

Shave an Artist and LIFE exhibition photos

2009-02-04T10:14:00.004+12:00

Wow, what can I say. I think the photos say it all. Last night an incredibly brave 13 people had their heads shaved to raise money for the Leukemia and Blood Foundation and over $20,000 was raised through the head shaving and the art auction!!!!

I thought that I would post some of my favourite photos from the night. Above is Jennifer Christiansen and Juliet Cryns.

Here is Marimba Powley looking stunning with a bald head.

And here is Juliet again - doesn't she have the most amazing colour hair.

Here is Sofia Minson after her shave. She is an incredibly talented artist who came up with the idea for the event and her piece of art sold for $8000!

This is Helen Sherrock looking pensive. She participated in this event to honour some memories of people very close to her.

And here is a shot from the associated LIFE exhibition in the upstairs part of the Bruce Mason Centre. The exhibition runs for a month and 20% of any proceeds go to the LBF too so the total amount raised in this event with the NZ Art Guild will exceed the $20,000 raised so far.

Escape - oil on canvas LIFE exhibition

2009-02-03T11:41:00.002+12:00

Yesterday I helped out at the hanging of the LIFE exhibition at the Bruce Mason Centre here in Auckland. Our opening night is tonight with the auction and head shaving so it will be a fantastic evening and in a couple of hours I will be stopping work for the day (GST for our construction business - yugh) and getting all dolled up.

This is my piece which is hanging in the exhibition. 20% of the proceeds of any sale goes to the Leukemia and Blood Foundation so if it sold that would be great as it is such a worthy cause.

It is called 'Escape' and is oil on canvas 1000mm x 600mm x 40mm. It ties into LIFE by the feeling you get when you are surrounded by nature and feeling at one with the world. I called it escape as I wanted it to feel that you have escaped from the toils and dramas that we get involved with in our day to day life and have got back in touch with what life is truly about, the simplicity and beauty of our world and the role we have to do what we can to make it a wee bit better every day. So it is really an escape to authenticity.

Playing with pastels

2009-01-31T13:27:00.003+12:00

Last night I pulled out this piece which I spent 5 minutes on back in December and decided to see if I could finish it. It was fun to do but I really found that I was missing colours that I needed, especially for the hair. The closest colours I had were very yellow so I do need a wider range of pastels if I am going to try portraits with them. I think I also need some warmer skin tone pastels as this looks very cool this morning. As I did it under normal lights in the lounge last night, it looked warmer then but I think that was the lights.

Looking at this now I can see some things wrong with it but as this was more for a play with pastels exercise more than anything else, I am reasonably happy with it and I won't go back and play anymore. I must admit though that I pulled out the coloured pencils for the eyes and lips. I just couldn't get the detail I wanted with the pastels for the eyes and I didn't have the right colours for the lips.

Horse Drawing - charcoal and carbon pencils on Bristol

2009-01-27T12:41:00.002+12:00

I managed to finish this last night while we watched a DVD. I love my drawing board. It is one that can be propped up to provide an incline on any table or bench but small enough for me to sit it on my knees while on the couch.

I could have kept fussing with this but I decided to just stop there and say it is finished. Not bad I thought for my first drawing off a horse since I was about 12. I thought about including a background as I am aware it is highly focused on the left hand side but decided not to as I quite like the effect of the horse walking onto the white paper.

I used a mixture of charcoal pencils and carbon pencils on A4 bristol. I found the carbon pencils were more useful to get the darks on this paper as the charcoal seems to sit on top more and can be manipulated (or accidentally brushed in the wrong direction) whereas the carbon seems to stay put. I enjoy both types of pencils though and want to continue playing with using both.

A snippet.....

2009-01-26T08:21:00.002+12:00

Here is a little snippet of my painting 'Escape' which will be heading to the LIFE exhibition next week. This is just the top right hand corner and of a fairly large canvas (1000mm x 600mm x 40mm) and I hope to put the finishing touches on today when the kids are asleep. I was really happy with the sky and today I will be doing the highlights and finishing the fence posts and perhaps another glaze on the hills. I will post the whole painting once I am finished.

Yesterday I managed to have a massive painting session as my kids wouldn't go to sleep. I put them down as per normal at 12 noon (they normally chat for 10 minutes then go to sleep) but they were having far too much fun in their cots, playing with soft toys and reading books and didn't actually go to sleep until 2:45pm. They then slept for nearly 2 hours so I had a good 4.5 hours in my studio which was brilliant. The kids were happy before they fell asleep and wouldn't last the day without a sleep so I had to leave them in their room until they fell asleep.

Getting back to LIFE, the exhibition opens next week on Tuesday night at the Bruce Mason Centre with an auction to raise money for the Leukemia and Blood Foundation and 123 people will be getting their heads shaved to raise money for this fantastic foundation as well. Go here for information about the event and here to check out the profiles of the people that are getting their heads shaved (and yes there are a number of women doing this, 8 out of the 13 in fact and some of these women have incredible beautiful long hair). You can sponsor these brave souls online. I need to do that myself, the trouble is I know a number of these people so it is deciding who to sponsor which is the difficult part.

And my word for the year is.........ORDER

2009-01-22T13:26:00.003+12:00

Yes, my word for the year is Order. A number of artist's whose blogs I read have chosen words to focus on this year and when I was considering what was relevant and pertinent to me, Order came through very strongly. But I guess I should explain what Order means to me....

I have a very busy life with two toddlers, four businesses and art. I plan on increasing the amount of hours I spend this year on Human Resources work (things simmering there which I will explain at a later point) and as I do all the paperwork and accounts for our construction business and two property investment businesses as well as a minimum of 15 hours study a week, and having two toddlers that are only in part-time daycare, I need to have order in my life to get everything done and not be stressed.

In the past six months or so since I took over half the garage as my studio, I found that I worked so much better and was so much more likely to pick up a brush or pencil if it was tidy and everything in order. Because every minute is precious (and anyone who has had two babies within a year will agree with me) I need to just go for it if I have some time when the munchkins are asleep.

So we (my lovely husband and myself) have been expanding this concept to the rest of our house and getting things in the right places, getting rid of the junk drawer (horrors) and the junk container (which sat on kitchen bench as the junk drawer was filled) and clearing out what we don't use. I cleared 7 boxes of excess kitchen stuff I don't use from the kitchen cupboards (see my pretty dinner set all in order above).
As part of this Order campaign, I have been completing some of the projects I have been talking about for ages. The "Letter" wall in the kid's room is one of those things. I have been picking up different letters for a few months now and still have a pile to paint up and extend it, but I actually got them painted and hung on the wall and I really like the effect.

I have also been putting my books in order. As you may recall I have in the vicinity of 5000 odd books. This is a small selection of the sci-fi/fantasy genre in alphabetical order.

Order also applies to how I spend my time. I have worked out a schedule which specifies how I fit in everything I do and also have quality playtime with my lovely toddlers and some time for me. This year the kids are in daycare an extra day and I am currently using this particular hour right now which is dedicated to art to update my blog (as I am aware I've been a bit slack recently - too much housework and "ordering").

So to sum it up, my focus on Order this year is for everything important in my life to have its place and appropriate time and resources allocated to it. That means I will achieve all my goals, our businesses will thrive and develop in different directions in this new economic climate, I improve my artistic skills, successfully complete my art study, kick-start my new direction with HR and have a loving family that spends lots of quality time together.

What is your word for this year?

By the way, the last photo is just one I took before of some beautiful lilies I bought this morning that were reduced. As my husband reacts badly to lilies (sensitive sod), they are currently in the garage where their beautiful scent is going to waste. But I got some great photos and hope to draw or paint them at some point.

LIFE - NZ Art Guild and Leukemia and Blood Foundation

2009-01-19T14:14:00.002+12:00

Image - Life - Tony Brown

The NZ Art Guild are joining together wtih the Leukaemia and Blood Foundation of NZ (LBF) to Shave An Artist. Yes - that's right - artists from all over NZ are shaving their heads to raise money and support the 6 New Zealand children and adults are diagnosed with blood cancers like leukaemia and lymphoma every day. The Leukaemia & Blood Foundation provides essential support not only for those patients, but for their families - support that can last months, and even years.

Top NZ Artists - Sofia Minson, Tony Brown, Sally Blyth, Nancy Frazer, Sophia Elise, Tanya Dann, Beate Minderjahn, Helen Sherrock, Sharlene Schmidt, Marimba Powley, Jennifer Christiansen, Juliet Cryns and Victoria Anderson - have donated artworks which will auctioned off at a one of a kind, not to missed charity event. Watch while artists and friends have their heads shaved alongside their artworks being auctioned. To coincide with this event 35 artists from around NZ will be having a month long exhibition of artworks depicting "life" in all its facets.

100% of the proceeds from the art auction and head shaves and 20% from all exhibition artwork sales will be donated to LBF.
Please help the Leukaemia and Blood foundation by supporting our shavers by sponsoring them by clicking here. Every donation no matter how small makes a difference to the work of LBF and the families they help.

Come to the opening night and support these brave, generous people in person

When: Feb 3rd 2009, 6:00pm Where: Bruce Mason Centre, Cnr of the Promenade and Hurstmere Rd, Takapuna Beach, North Shore City, Auckland. Entry: Free - All welcome

Buy an Artwork at the LIFE Exhibition When: Feb 3rd - Feb 28th. Mon - Fri - 9am - 5pm and Sat 10am - 4pmWhere: Bruce Mason Centre, Cnr of the Promenade and Hurstmere Rd, Takapuna Beach, North Shore City, Auckland

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While I will not be getting my head shaved (and I so admire those that are), I will be having a piece in the associated exhibition and if it sells, 20% of the proceeds will go to the LBF.

Also check out the piece by Tony Brown above. I am very lucky to own a Tony Brown which hangs on my lounge wall. His work is amazing in real life, photos just don't do it justice.

Charcoal horse drawing WIP

2009-01-13T12:11:00.004+12:00

When I was a kid I was horse mad. I never had a horse of my own, but I wanted one so badly. I loved any book that involved horses from My Friend Flicka through to the Jill and the ponyclub books. I had a secondhand riding hat that I picked up at the school fair and I wore that around the house and in the backyard which had been transformed into a showjumping ring in my mind (and a little bit in real life) and I rode my imaginary horse over all the jumps to victory.

I used to love drawing horses then too and when my family moved from Timaru to Christchurch and I had to change schools, I became good friends with a girl called Kathryn after I saw her drawing horses and we realised that we had a shared passion. Over the years horses gave way to all those other interests that you have as a pre-teen and teenager and I probably haven't even ridden since I was about 16. However I still love horses and I still like drawing them as I am discovering at the moment.

I still have a way to go on this one as it is sucking up a fair bit of time, but I'm pretty pleased with the outcome so far. We live fairly close to the Meadowbank Pony Club smack bang in suburban Auckland so often see horses being walked or ridden around the streets. I took this photo out of the car window while my husband was driving us past. I was pleased that I actually managed to capture the horse in the frame and actually like the angle which is good as it is the only photo that actually got the horse.

This is charcoal pencil on A4 Bristol and it is interesting on the smooth paper how you can move the charcoal around and it doesn't grab easily. That helps for certain effects but I'm not getting the real darks I want in certain places so I think I will finish drawing it and then fix it and then go over certain areas again. Hopefully I'll get this finished in the next few days.

Another portrait of Tayla - charcoal and carbon pencils

2009-01-06T14:37:00.002+12:00

This is just a relatively quick drawing I completed this afternoon while the munchkins are sleeping (and they still are - bliss!) but I thought I would post it here as I tried a couple of new things.

Firstly, I used Bristol paper, A4 size. This is very smooth thick paper and I like the charcoal on it as it is smooth and very easy to blend. Will be using this more I think, and I think it made it quicker too. Secondly I pretty much did a few lines and smudging for the clothes and I like the effect. And thirdly I tried scanning the image rather than taking a photo and I think it may be better. What do you think?

I get so frustrated at how grey the white paper comes out on the photo whereas this seems pretty white still. But does it come through as clear? Any thoughts or hints on what settings to use with scanning would be greatly appreciated. I tried a few things and then ended up 200dpi on the 256 Greyscale. But are there better options???

Also, quite a number of artists whose blogs I read have been choosing a Word for the year and applying that to their lives. I've been thinking a lot about that and think I have my word, so will be back with more detail once I've done more thinking....

Charcoal and pastel drawing and some new year art resolutions!

2009-01-01T15:44:00.003+12:00

This is the portrait I drew today using Charcoal pencils, a white pastel pencil and a carbon pencil with great use of the tortillion. It is on A3 Mi-Teints paper in a grey shade.

The subject is my step-son Alex who turns 16 this month. The drawing however was based on a photo I took of him sometime last year and I loved the photo so much, especially with the distinct lighting (pure coincidence as his sister was on his knee and it was just a shot of the two of them together) that I wanted to try drawing it. I thought I would try a toned paper so I could use white on it for the highlights and I'm really happy with it.

Anyway, enough of that, not on to my New Year's Art-Related Resolutions!!!!!

1. Set up my own website that I manage myself (I already have my own domain name and that is done through Artfind but you can't change the look and it has limited functionality so I would like a website that I can group different styles etc in logical ways rather than just having everything listed on just one page.)

2. Participate in at least 3 exhibitions/art fairs (have an exhibition coming up in a month so that will be one down).

3. Draw at least one portrait a week to continue to develop my drawing skills

4. Paint a minimum of 5 portraits during the year

5. Complete Stage One of the diploma I am doing at TLC

6. Participate in at least half of the fortnightly challenges for the NZ Art Guild

7. Do another life drawing class

8. Continue to learn more about photoshop

9. Have enough work in progress to replace art in the cafe every 3 months with fresh and improved work

10. Donate artwork to at least 2 charity type auctions

I think that might keep me busy!

Happy new year and a new oil painting

2009-01-01T15:32:00.002+12:00

I hope everyone is having a lovely day for the start of the year. I have had a thoroughly enjoyable afternoon in my studio while my husband and step-son entertained the kiddies. I gesso'ed some small canvases, painted one painting and drew a drawing (which I will post later).

I am currently preparing for the swap over of paintings at Cafe Apollo which will happen in about a month. Given the economy and the fact people are tighter at the moment, I have decided to do a smaller series of seascape type paintings on smaller canvases at a lower price. This one above is the first and it is 600 x 300mm, oil on canvas. I am also using DAS canvases for this series as they are significantly cheaper than the canvases I prefer to use, especially at the moment with 50% off in New Year sales. I figure that with a reduced cost to me with a cheaper canvas I can work out an affordable price-point for these. Not entirely sure what that will be yet but I am thinking around the $120 mark. I don't want to impact on the prices of my larger works on high quality canvases so I need to do some more thinking about that.

I really enjoyed painting again today as I have been doing more drawing than painting lately. I might see if I can do another one in the next few days. The one above is called "Sunset Dreaming" and is artist quality oil on cotton duck canvas.

Another charcoal/carbon portrait

2008-12-30T07:23:00.003+12:00

I am taking a very quick moment this morning while the kids are eating breakfast to post this drawing before we go off visiting. The beautiful subjects are my husband's nieces and as I gave it to their Mum last night I thought I can post it now. When I looked at the photos this morning they were terrible and as I have given it away I can't take a better one now so this will just have to do. Once again it is charcoal pencil and carbon pencil on Arches A4 HP paper.

Yesterday I had fun spending my Christmas voucher from my Dad at The French Art Shop here in Auckland. I looooove that shop, it is such a treasure trove for art stuff and it was so much fun deciding how I would spend my voucher. I got a really good cretacolour charcoal set, some derwent tinted charcoal pencils, some Bristol paper (which seems exceptionally smooth so I am interested to try some charcoal drawings on that for very smooth blending), a beautiful squirrel hair paint brush and some Viridian oil paint. Viridian is the oil paint I go through most, with the exception of titanium white because I mix it with alizeron crimson for my blacks and greys. I love the greys you get with those two colours but you need much more viridian than alizeron and as it is a series 4 paint, it was nice to use a voucher to pay for it.

I hope to get out the paintbrushes this afternoon when the kids are sleeping as I haven't painted in weeks. I need to do more work on Carter's portrait which has been sitting there untouched for a long time and I am so keen for some more seascapes.

Holiday Greetings

2008-12-28T20:51:00.002+12:00

I have been quiet on the blogging and emailing front over these last days as I have had family staying and have been enjoying the holiday feeling over this Christmas period. I hope that everyone reading this has had a lovely time with family and friends and is feeling refreshed and inspired to greet 2009.

Yesterday my husband and I took advantage of having a babysitter (aka my Mum) staying and took off for a few hours. Heading over to the eastern side of Auckland we found Musick Point which has a large building that was the centre of radio communications for a number of years, especially during WWII. That is all closed down now, but behind the building is a number of very steep steps that you can climb down and it is just fantastic. Neither my husband nor myself have been here before and we stayed for a while, taking photos and enjoying the coastal beauty so close to home.

Here you can see Rangitoto Island at the back and Browns Island (we think) at the front.

The rock formations were amazing and there were hidden surprises like this cave.

It was so great just to take off in the car, not knowing where we were going to go and just exploring parts of our city. I took several hundred photos and am inspired to paint some more seascapes based on them. It was an overcast day and I am really keen to return when it is blue sky to see how that changes the light and colours. Even though we were only gone for a few hours, it felt like such an escape and a mini holiday even though we didn't go away.

I hope all of you manage a small or big escape over this holiday season too. Best wishes.

Charcoal Pencil Portrait - Tayla

2008-12-22T06:12:00.003+12:00

On Saturday I decided that I wasn't happy with the last portrait that I drew of Tayla and that it didn't match the one I had done of Carter. I looked through my photos but couldn't find one that worked for me so I decided that my daughter should do another photo session for me.

Well, 140 photos later, I had a couple that I really liked and the one that this drawing is based on was my favourite. So last night I sat on the couch and drew while half watching a DVD and I was so so pleased with the outcome. This is now definitely my favourite so far and I can just see how much I am improving with every portrait.

And here are the two framed portraits together. I really love them and half wish they weren't Christmas presents so that I could hang them on our walls.

For this latest one I tried using carbon pencils alongside the charcoal pencils for the eyes and some of the fine detail of her hair. I like the sharp point and fine detail you can get but still prefer the intense velvety darks you get with charcoal. I can see me using them in the future in conjunction with charcoal but not to do an entire drawing.

Genetics?

2008-12-20T09:09:00.003+12:00

Is it genetic, the need to put marks on paper, canvas, (walls, doors) etc? I wonder when I look at my two toddlers who frequently draw. And I have had crayons snuck into the cot so when nap-time is over I see a beautiful purple mural all over the wall. At any time, you will find chalk, crayons, pencils and felt pens all over the house and they love it when I set the easel up with paint.

I am making progress on the portrait with the glazing but the photos look terrible so I will wait until I am a little further on before I post progress so I thought my beautiful children drawing would provide the photos today. I am also working on some christmas drawings which I won't post yet as the person may read this blog so I better get my a into g to finish them on time!

Grisaille underpainting - Carter's portrail in oil

2008-12-11T07:03:00.002+12:00

Last night my husband was out visiting clients and I finally felt well enough to paint so while the kids slept I hid away in my studio with the dog and cat. YAY!

As I mentioned previously, I really want to explore portraiture in the next year and have been reading up on it. So last night I thought I would do a grisaille underpainting for a portrait of Carter. As my husband had my laptop with me (which felt like a limb was cut off) which has all my photos, I couldn't print off a photo so had to work with what I had which was the same photo that I drew as a charcoal portrait last week. And that worked well. Because I was used to the photo and where the tonal changes were, I found that a really good base point before painting the underpainting and think I will probably do that again for the next portrait.

I spent a couple of hours on this, and concentrated on the face mainly. The hair and t-shirt are not terribly detailed but I didn't think they needed to be in this. I really want to get the luminosity of a child's skin coming through when I start the glazing which is why I spent a long time on his face. I did this all in burnt umber and am really happy with it. Now I am really scared of stuffing up the next stages so I am going to do more research today on how to approach the glazing for the skin tones before I start that tonight.

Charcoal Pencil Portrait - Tayla

2008-12-10T13:36:00.002+12:00

This is my lovely one year old daughter Tayla in charcoal pencil on A4 Arches HP paper.

Today is the first day I have picked up a pencil or anything remotely resembling a drawing instrument since I last posted. The reason being is that I have Strep Throat again, which means I have been sick for 6 days now and only now beginning to show signs of recovery after I went to the Doctor yesterday and got some antibiotics. Looks like I am one of the 15% of the population that carry the bacteria around with them all the time which is why I am getting it once a year at present. Lucky me. My poor munchkins are also not well, each with ear infections in their right ears.

While I have been sick I have been reading lots of art magazines and books and am so so inspired to get stuck into painting again and have some big ideas for a total change in direction. I really want to focus on portraiture next year and the figure and in painting as well as drawing. I feel much more confident drawing a portrait than I do in painting it and my attempts are self-portrait are hiding away in my studio at the moment waiting to see if I can rescue it or whether I should sand it back and start again. So I am mulling at the moment inside my head thinking about how I structure my art and my artistic development next year.

Charcoal Pencil Portrait no.4 - Carter

2008-12-05T10:38:00.005+12:00

Here is my latest portrait done in charcoal pencil. This time of my son Carter. A4 on Arches HP again. This time I used a photo that I had played around with in photoshop to up the contrast and I quite like the effect (although I am still struggling with getting decent photos of completed drawings and the white paper is coming out gray and they look so much better in real life). I am really happy with this one though and feeling a lot more confident with charcoal pencils.

I was especially happy with the eyes on this one. I still do them first and love seeing a person appear on the page.

Also please check out a fantastic challenge that Chavah Kinloch, a fellow artist from the NZ Art Guild is hosting on her blog at the moment. It is called 'The Random Act of Kindness Challenge' and she is giving away one of her gorgeous paintings as a prize. Check out her post here for the details. It is such a great thing to do at any time, especially at this time of year. I do believe that 'giving' is a fundamental human requirement to live a fulfilling life and recent studies have determined that it is as integral as the basic necessities of life such as food, water, shelter etc. I'm a big fan of Maslow and his hierarchy of needs and recent research would suggest "giving" should be down at the bottom of this pyramid. So check it out and spread the love!

Doing the tagging thing...finally

2008-12-04T08:20:00.002+12:00

Okay, I have been tagged twice now in the past few weeks, once by Chavah Kinloch and once by Ronda Turk (go now check out their blogs, they are both fabulous artists).

The rules:
1. Link to the person or persons who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Write six random things about yourself.
4. Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them.
5. Let each person know they’ve been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

Okay, so I have done the first two rules, now six random things about myself:

1. In my last year at High School, I played First Witch in a rock version of Macbeth. Imagine a mix of genuine Shakespeare interspersed with rock music and a purple Lycra catsuit and really really big hair (my hair was very long and it was teased out so much it would take at least 30 minutes the follow morning to get the knots out in preparation for it to all happen again that night at the next show).

2. I am a book addict and have in the vicinity of 5000 books. I read most genres and categorise my books alphabetically within genres. I have a real thing for sci-fi and fantasy books thanks to my friend Jo after turning down my nose at that genre for years. Now nothing beats a good fat fantasy series for complete escapism.

3. In my non-art, non-mummy life I am a Human Resources Consultant. I have my own business set up and do contract and consulting work and will be increasing that next year as I have been doing this part-time while my munchkins were little. It is coming up to a decade of being in HR but I do enjoy the people aspect and feel passionate about being able to make a difference.

4. I never did my big OE in my twenties as I was so focused on my career but I still really really have itchy feet. I can't wait to see Europe, the great art and the history. In saying that, the thought of dragging two toddlers on 24-hour plane trips to get to the other side of the world is just far too painful to contemplate so until they are a bit older, I will live vocariously through my friends travels and drool over their photos and stories.

5. I did a double major at university so have a degree in History and Feminist Studies and my passion was for women's history and revisionist history. One day I will go back and do all my post-grad. I loved being in academia and would really like a PhD one day. Dr Melissa..ummmmmm

6. Before I had my own babies, I was terrified of babies and if I ever had to hold one, I was frozen stiff ,so scared that I might damage it and always felt a sense of relief once I got to hand it back. Then I had my own and realised they are robust little things and I am now very comfortable with babies and toddlers. Nothing like cuddling a little baby to make me think, hmmm, maybe more,......one day..... but jury is still out on that one and after having two within a year of each other, I need a few more years break before we will make that decision!

Okay, now is the point where I have to tag six people. Because I slacked around with this, most of the people I was going to tag have already been tagged, so I am going to manipulate the rules (just for me) and list six blogs of which you should go visit and if those people from those blogs feel like playing along, they are more than welcome to feel tagged if they haven't been so already.

1. Sophia Elise - manager of the NZ Art Guild, abstract artist and all around fabulous human being
2. Leanne Brischetto - photographer extraordinaire and if she lived in NZ I would so get her to take photos of my babies
3. Tanya Dann - Artist, art student, check out her blog to see the incredible variery of stuff she has been doing from sculpture to photography to really cool unique soft toys
4. Sandra Toornstra - life drawings that are vibrant and immediate, I really enjoy her work
5. Marimba Powley - check out her landscapes, they have such style to them and are stunning
6. Jen Longshaw - fantastic animal art and musings on country life

Moonlight Dream Flights

2008-12-02T18:57:00.002+12:00

Last week I thought that I had almost finished the dragonfly painting and then stuffed up the final touches. After it being such a battle all the way through I just didn't know what to do. I had prepared a very textured abstract background with iridescant turquoises and greens and then painted a very realistic dragonfly on top, having to switch to oils part way through just because I couldn't get the level of detail that I wanted with acrylic and the fast-drying was frustrating me.

So I thought about it and then this purple moonlit image appeared in my mind, not realistic, more stylised and I thought that I would give it a try. And it came together very easily and I sent the painting off today. It is acrylic 500 x 500 x 40mm and the photo doesn't really show it properly as I used iridescant paint in different parts so it is actually quite shimmery and the glazed areas don't look patchy in real life like they do in the photo. I also took a not-straight photo so the bottom left side is cropped.

This painting is for a young woman that I have never met, who has overcome some incredible things in her life and is now facing her biggest battle health-wise. She really loves dragonflies so this painting is for her and I just really hope that she likes it.

Charcoal pencil portrait - my lovely husband

2008-11-28T07:32:00.004+12:00

I was going through photos the other night when I was trying to find a decent photos of both kids together for the annual calendar that daycare organises, which is a pretty hard task - I have lots of great individual shots but very few with both of them. I came across a photo of my lovely husband holding our daughter and I thought, I want to draw that picture of him. So yesterday I did and the result is above. This is charcoal pencil on A4 Arches Smooth and I am heaps happier with this one compared to the last one I did.

I managed to do this when the kids were up and about and set my son up with his own drawing board, some paper and a pencil and a copy of this photo of Daddy so that he could draw Daddy too. I would post his two year version however last night his one year old sister tore it to bits when she wasn't too happy with her brother after she decided WWF-style wrestling isn't that much fun after a while (and as I write this now they are practicing wrestling moves on each other on the lounge floor).

My husband asked me when he saw this, if he really does have that many wrinkles. Well he was looking into the sun at the time with his head turned and he is a builder who works outside. And then for his hobby and his passion he is out on the boat with wakeboarding so he does look like he spends quite a bit of time outside but I love each and every wrinkle and I think they give him character. And I do really like drawing his face, it is a change from the smoothness of baby and toddler faces. So I am pretty happy with this one although can anyone give me a hint on how to sharpen charcoal pencils? I've tried different types of sharpeners and the lead seems to break so easily and I can't get a sharp point. If anyone reading this does know, please leave me a comment, I will be very grateful.

My yesterday morning

2008-11-26T19:27:00.007+12:00

Yesterday morning I dropped my lovely munchkins at daycare and decided to take a moment to myself before I headed home with the work waiting, bills to be paid and housework to be completed (although do you ever complete housework with two toddlers in the house?). I had my camera in the car and when I turned the corner from daycare I saw this house.

I drive past this house at least four times a week on a tiny little road called Risk Road and I have never noticed it before yesterday morning when I was obviously looking for the first time. It is this tiny villa with peeling paint, overgrown gardens and I wouldn't like to guess if it is inhabited or not (or if it is inhabitable). Especially when you consider it is smack bamm in the middle of Remuera which most New Zealander's know to be one of "those" suburbs, by which I mean, established old money type suburb. And here tucked in this tiny little road which has such a great name - Risk Road - which leads to many imaginative wanderings in itself - is this little house that is so beautiful in its weathering and the life it has lived that I just had to take some photos.

After being all inspired from Risk Road, I decided to turn the other way and instead of going home, I went to Cornwall Park which truly is a jewel in Auckland city. Beautiful spring/summer morning, the sun was shining, the dew was slowly dissipating and I just sat there and looked. Here are some of the things I looked it. Did you ever notice how beautiful the bark is on a tree?

And how beautiful the shadow/light dance is on a gravel walkway between swaying trees?

And then when I decided that real life had better intrude again (and I was getting hungry as I normally have breakfast after the kids are in daycare) I drove off to see a friend walking in the park. I rolled down my window, she asked me to walk with them so I did.

And after a good walk, enjoying the sun, enjoying the wind and the beauty of the surroundings, I then found some cows by where I parked my car and enjoyed watching them.

So that was my yesterday morning. It was a morning that I could have been working, doing housework or painting, however I think my unintentional break from life was just what I needed and I think I will be doing that again!

NZ Art Guild - Christmas Tree

2008-11-26T08:53:00.002+12:00

Each year the Bruce Mason Center has a selection of Christmas Trees that are decorated by various organisations. This year the NZ Art Guild have been asked to participate and decorate a tree. I have been the collection point for art decorations being sent to me from artists all over New Zealand and the decoration itself happens this Friday. The theme was art and Kiwiana. So I did some little canvases, one of which has pohutakawa flowers which are coming out at the moment all over the place and are considered New Zealand's native Christmas Tree. The other one has iridescent baubles on the tree and a rhinestone at the top which you can't really see in the photo.

I'm really looking forward to seeing the completed tree. Unfortunately I can't help out with the decoration itself as I would like as it is happening Friday afternoon which is one day that I have no childcare options and is right smack bang in the middle of sleep time. So the thought of juggling two toddlers that want to be sleeping while trying to keep their hands away from the beautifully decorated trees doesn't sound like too much fun.

Figure drawing 2 - coloured pencil on canvas

2008-11-20T07:16:00.003+12:00

Here is my second coloured pencil figure drawing on boxed canvas. I started this about a month ago but didn't get into it until yesterday when I did another 'sit in the sun on the stairs while the kids play in the lounge' thing. It is 200 x 200 x 40mm. I haven't varnished it yet but the other one varnished fine so these should be fine to hang straight on the wall. The reference photo that this was based on was from wetcanvas again with the same model Sophie as the previous figure drawing I did. Wetcanvas is a fabulous resource for images that you are allowed to use for your art.

I've had a bit of a block for the past few weeks and it has felt like I have had so many unfinished works and just wasn't getting any traction. Finishing this yesterday afternoon and then almost finishing the dragonfly piece last night has made me feel really good and all inspired again. Now I just need to figure out what to do to finish that seascape I posted a week or so ago.

It is also Virtual Sketch Date week again and I would like to participate but as it has to be completed by Saturday, I am not sure if I will get a chance given we have family coming to stay today that I am really looking forward to catching up with. Hopefully lots of photos from their travels from Europe as well to give me itchy feet (until I think about the realities of plane trips with a one year old and two year old which puts me off in a hurry).

Fairy Princess Photos

2008-11-16T18:57:00.003+12:00

Something different for a change. Still not at completion stages with any art but today we had a family walk around the doggie park (fantastic reserve that allows dogs to go off-leash with watering holes for them to swim in and a long pathway right around where they get to meet lots of other dogs) so I took some photos when we stopped for a picnic lunch. So here are just a couple of pics of my one year old fairy princess. I had lots of fun playing in Photoshop Elements with these.

I have also been 'tagged' so will attend to that very soon once I figure out what 6 things about me, you don't know!

A bit stuck with this seascape

2008-11-11T10:54:00.003+12:00

This is one of the paintings that I am currently working on. It is fairly large, 900 x 750 x 40mm and is oil on canvas. My issue is that it doesn't look complete but I don't know what I need to do to finish it. It has been sitting in this state on my easel since Saturday and I don't have a solution. Any ideas?

Finally made some decent progress with the dragonfly piece too since I switched to oils for the dragonfly itself so once that is further along I will post that too. Hope you all are well, I have actually been doing quite a bit of art, just have heaps of things in progress and nothing finished.

Hope - Yes we can

2008-11-06T07:49:00.002+12:00

Here I am, in Auckland, New Zealand, being completely caught up in the American Elections. I felt so emotionally invested in Barack Obama and I truly believe that he is one of those special people who will go down in history for making a difference. He has a gift - people believe in him and seeing the spirit of hope and joy in America yesterday (well from the Obama supporters anyway) and the landslide victory, was just very very special.

I had the TV on mute during the day to see the results coming through (was working on some HR stuff so couldn't take the time to listen but I could look up at the screen and see results every so often) and when I had to go out driving, I listened to it in my car. When I heard him speak his victory speech, I cried. It really bought home to me just how important this election is, both for the past and for the future.

I have a degree in History and have studied American History and for an African American person to win this election is incredible and I hope it brings hope and belief to the many many children who have thought that they can't achieve certain things due to the colour of their skin. And I think it says something great about the amount of American people who voted for him because he was the best person and that it wasn't about the colour of his skin.

Here in New Zealand (and probably the rest of the western world), we have been so put off by the Bush administration and couldn't believe how such an imbecile could be in charge and make such damaging decisions that were affecting the rest of the world. The leader of this country has such an impact on how the rest of the world views America and I see how interested and invested people here in NZ have been about this election and how excited and hopeful we are about Obama being President. Even though McCain probably would have been better for NZ in terms of the Fair Trade Agreement, I think we all thought that Obama was better for the world.

So I feel hope, hope that this person is one that will continue to change history and make a positive impact on the world. Just seeing the synergy of the people who believe in him and are wanting change is incredible in itself and I believe there will be change and hope.

Charcoal Pencil Portrait no.2

2008-11-02T09:21:00.002+12:00

I thought that I would try another portrait using charcoal pencils so this time I drew my lovely husband. My husband doesn't like having a presence on the internet and I respect that which is why I never post photos of him or refer to him via his name on here or on facebook and as I paint and work under my maiden name of Muirhead and have a different married name, he manages to keep his privacy. He was however fine with me posting this drawing of him so here it is and here he is - the love of my life, my biggest supporter and my inspiration.

I am happier with this attempt than Tayla's portrait but it is still not quite where I want it to be. I did struggle a bit with the photo I based this one off, as the back of our son's head was actually cutting off one side of his ear, cheek and neck so I left that to last and last night when he got home from work I had to get him to pose for me with his head on that angle so I could try and get where his neck should be.

This is on A4 Arches smooth paper again. I am almost out of that pad so I might try another brand next time to see the difference.

I also have two paintings on the go that I plan on working on more today - the dragonfly one is slowly coming along and I also am inspired to start another large seascape today too. I find I get into the flow more when I paint landscapes and seascapes versus more detailed subjects. I enjoy the zone when you are just blending colours and are able to get large areas of colour done in one hit. So I think the dragonfly one will be done in bits and pieces and I will do some landscapes/seascapes in between for refreshments. Also all our walls are quite bare at the moment after taking a few of them down to go to Cafe Apollo so I really need to get some large ones done soon.

Tayla charcoal pencil portrait

2008-10-31T08:41:00.003+12:00

Here she is, my lovely Tayla. This is A4 Arches Smooth with charcoal pencil. I found it difficult getting the gradations of smooth tone with the charcoal pencil and found that if I drew a line then it kind of stained the paper and even my trusty battery-operated eraser couldn't get rid of that line. I did try using compressed charcoal which I drew on another piece of paper and then firstly used a paper stump to blend it but that wasn't too smooth so then I used my trusty finger and I think that worked best.

So this isn't the best outcome that I wanted and I left the clothes and neck pretty undeveloped as by that stage I figured this was a learning piece and not one that I will give away or hang up myself. I do really love the photo that this is based on though so I would like to attempt this one again, perhaps with a mixture of graphite and charcoal? I do really love the intense black you get with charcoal pencils and I am pretty happy with the eyes and hair, it's really the lack of smoothness with the change in tone on the face and because my baby girl has such beautiful smooth clear skin I really wanted to capture that and I don't think I did.

Photos from Cafe Apollo

2008-10-30T13:21:00.004+12:00

On Tuesday we managed to get over to the North Shore and hang my paintings in Cafe Apollo. Here is a photo of them hanging. I think it brightened the cafe up and it would be lovely if I got some sales from it. However the publicity and exposure is all good and I have had sales from people taking my business cards before so I think it is a good thing to do. I am going to rotate work every 3 months so I need to get fairly busy on some large pieces very soon so I have work completed to replace these ones with.

I also thought that I would post of photo of my husband's creative work. He has just finished building this house and I am about to load it up on the internet so we can get some tenants in. It's a really lovely house and I was almost tempted to move into it ourselves as it is bigger than our house and has a separate lounge upstairs. After living with two toddlers who absolutely trash the house every single day, the thought of just closing the door on the mess and going into a toy-free tidy lounge in the evening just seems really appealing sometimes.

I do have great plans for when we build THE house which include a top floor studio with views of Rangitoto, a large library and separate office. That's just what I require for me, let along everything for my husband, our toddlers and my teenage step-son. It might have to be a fairly large house I think so I will wait in our current house until we find the right section for THE house (and have the money to pay for it). It will have to be a large section as I want my kids growing up outside with a large lawn and treehuts to climb to, bushes to play hide and seek in and flowers to pick for their mother. Can't wait...

We Are the World - Lionel Richie, Tina Turner, Jackson

2008-10-27T15:00:00.001+12:00

Thought that I would check out You Tube to see if the video was there and of course it is so for those of you that haven't heard this song for a while, here it is!

NZ Art Guild fortnightly challenge

2008-10-27T14:47:00.002+12:00

Something completely and utterly different for me I know! This fortnight's theme for the NZ Art Guild is 'Community' and the challenge component of it was that you had to use collage. So I played and it was fun doing something light and different.

It is called "We are the World" as my interpretation of community is that we are a global community right now. Look at how inter-related we all are with our systems such as the finance markets which is top of mind at present. Look at how technology has meant that you can communicate instantly with someone the other side of the world. When I thought about our world as our community, it made me remember that song "We are the world, we are the children..." I remember singing that at primary school and I loved it so for this challenge I thought that I would do three girls singing this from different cultures/ethnicities but together in our global community.

I have no idea what I will do with this piece, but it was fun to play and do and gave me a break from this self-portrait which I am still battling with and the dragonfly that I have decided to give up the acrylics with and break out the oils.

This particular piece is 300 x 200 x 35mm and is acrylic, collage and mixed media on canvas.

Virtual Sketch Date - October

2008-10-25T11:53:00.004+12:00

I really didn't think I would get anything done in time for the Virtual Sketch Date this month but this afternoon after putting the kiddies down for their nap, I decided to sit down and do a charcoal pencil sketch. I only spent about 45 minutes on this one (just a tad quicker than the 5-6 hours I spent on the coloured pencil peonies last month). I decided to crop the image for two reasons, firstly so I could actually get something finished in time and secondly because in the previous months I have really enjoyed seeing the interesting crops that other artists have done so I wanted to extend myself and try cropping rather than drawing the entire thing and I quite like the effect actually.

I also played around with the reference image on photoshop elements and put a film effect on it (makes it grainy) and then removed the colour so I would do something a bit looser for me.

Here is the original photo that this was based on. This was kindly provided by the very talented Belinda Lindhardt. I would recommend you check out her work as she does some amazing stuff with coloured pencils that I am in awe of.

I am looking forward to seeing all the other versions again this month. Basically check out the Virtual Sketch Date blog by tomorrow and you should see all the links for those that participated. It seems to be growing month on month and there is something really special about seeing just how creative and unique everyone's interpretations of the same image can be.

Charcoal pencil portrait - Tayla WIP

2008-10-24T07:18:00.004+12:00

Wednesday was an absolutely beautiful spring day here in Auckland (has been raining ever since) so the kiddies played outside and I took about 150 photos. I got loads of gorgeous ones of Carter and as Tayla was quite grumpy (teething again at the moment) I got lots of grumpy photos and just a few beautiful ones. I decided that I would draw my favourite of Tayla's photos so I started the above last night. It is A4 Arches Smooth and is with a charcoal pencil which I haven't used before. Still a very very long way to go but I am loving the intense darks you get with a charcoal pencil.

What has put me off charcoal in the past is the messiness and the lack of control I feel I have with a charcoal stick. So a charcoal pencil gives me the control I like (am I a control freak?) but the beautiful intense dark which is a change from graphite. I need to figure out the blending side of things and may use a charcoal stick or willow charcoal for that softer part but I was pretty happy with the eyes.

I am nervous of smudging it and was wondering if I should have started top left and worked my way down. The trouble is that I like to draw the eyes first after I have done the outline as that makes the picture come alive to me and I really love seeing my daughter's face appear on the page. I guess I will just have to be careful.

One interesting thing I found when drawing Mackenzie recently, was because I have never met her in real life and only see photos, I didn't get that sense that I get when I draw my children of "that's her". Even though I am working of a photo of Tayla, I know her face so well from life that I think it adds something. I can understand why portrait painters prefer to meet the subject in real life as I think it helps with knowing when you have got that true likeness and sense of who they are.

In terms of other art, I have actually done more work on that self-portrait and it is looking better so once it is further long I will post it along with some of the exceptionally "ugly" stages this particular piece has gone through. I have also been battling with this dragonfly. I have been painting it in acrylic but I keep getting frustrated with not being able to blend and manipulate the paint like you can with oils. I was doing it in acrylic as I was intending to resin it once it was finished as it has a very textured mixed media background which would look great under resin but I think I might just paint over the dragonfly in oils and then just use a gloss varnish. I like acrylic for certain things but I find oil paint so much better for blending and manipulating and I almost feel like I have lost my skills in acrylic and the quick drying frustrates me immensely.

It is also Virtual Sketch Date week and I haven't done anything yet so will try and do that today. It is pears this time so might be a good chance to try out the charcoal pencil on something different that people.

A creative funk

2008-10-21T16:53:00.003+12:00

For the last week I have been in a creative funk. Things just weren't going my way with the self-portrait, I damaged the porcelain Christmas decorations that I was hand-painting so wasn't able to get them for donation for Starship Hospital. I didn't like my initial background for the dragonfly painting as I did that one glaze too many and then couldn't go back so ended up starting from scratch again. I also couldn't hang my paintings at Cafe Apollo on Monday as I pulled a shoulder muscle at the gym on Saturday and as it hurts to lift, I couldn't deal with lifting big paintings up to hang and carrying them.

So I've basically felt frustrated and uninspired and in a creative funk. So today while my lovely daughter was sleeping, I decided that I had to pick up a paintbrush. I didn't know what to paint and I didn't want to even think about that so I squirted out 2 blues, 2 cool reds, one white and one gold and just put paint on the canvas. And this is what I came out with.

A bit strange, not really me and I will probably paint over it at some point and re-use the canvas, but it worked in terms of getting me out of this funk I was in by just picking up a paintbrush and pushing paint around. After I had done that, I tidied up my studio, prepared 2 canvases for some mixed media work I've had in the back of my mind and drew out the dragonfly on the prepared background that I re-did.

So I feel a lot better now and am actually inspired to get back out there and start on this dragonfly tonight once the munchkins are in bed. My shoulder has improved although is still not quite right and I am really missing the gym (and no an alien has not taken over my body for those readers that know me in real life) and using my husbands TENS machine on it each night which is helping. He uses the machine on his knee (wakeboarding = hobby) + (building = occupation) = three lots of knee surgery . So each night we sit in bed both with electrodes stuck on us while we read.

Also if you noticed the photo of an avocado at the top, I took that about an hour a go and played around a little with Photoshop Elements. I love avocado and it just gave me a ying and yang type feel when I was cutting it up for dinner so I decided to stop preparing tea and quickly take photos in the late afternoon sun. I actually quite like it and may even paint it at some stage.

So that's me, I'm back and will hopefully post progress on stuff very very soon.....

Self Portrait in Oil - WIP

2008-10-12T20:32:00.003+12:00

I decided that I might as well post my work in process with this self-portrait that I am currently working on. Here you can see the first "drawing" that I did in a thin burnt umber. I was really just trying to establish the tonal values and was hoping that it I did that right then I would be able to glaze over to get the final result. In hindsight I think I did this too rough and I think it would be better to spend more time doing that so that the initial under-painting is very very smooth and correct.

Since then I have been glazing and you can see where I am up to with the top photo. I still have a long way to go and at one point I used titanium white instead of the translucent white I had been using to mix with and that put a horrid opaque film over the entire face. So tonight I went back with the burnt umber and have been glazing with my various mixtures of cerulean red and yellow ochre with translucent white. So I am feeling happier with it now. However I think because I brought in the opaqueness too early and all over instead of just the highlights, that I have lost the potential to get that real luminosity coming through.

I haven't worked on the eyes much since that first night at it so a lot to do there and a lot of refinement on the face itself. The hair, eyebrows and background haven't been touched and I will figure out what to do with those once I have completed the face. I have lost some of the deeper values in the shadow part of the face too so I need to darken those. So still a long way to go but I am enjoying the process and I think a self-portrait is a good way to start to explore portraiture. The photo that it is based on was not meant to be a flattering photo - I held the camera out from my un-made-up face in the morning and just snapped. I just wanted to have a simple face structure to paint and decided not to get hung up on whether it made me look good or not.

So I will keep you posted in my first attempt at portraiture in oils and hopefully I end up with an outcome that isn't too painful. In any case I am determined to keep it and not paint over it as I think self-portraits are brilliant for tracking artistic progression so hopefully one day I will look back on this and laugh at my amateur attempts!

Coloured pencil figure drawing - completed

2008-10-09T09:08:00.002+12:00

Here she is, my sixth (I think) coloured pencil drawing and this time on gallery wrapped canvas. It is 200 x 200 x 40mm and once I varnish it, it will be ready to hang without framing which appeals to me. I don't have a title for this yet and I am pretty happy with the outcome even though I was ambivalent about whether it was working throughout different parts of the process.

I think for the next coloured pencil piece I do on canvas, I will use a lighter colour to prime it as I couldn't get rid of the black base and haven't made my mind up to whether that adds depth or would a figure drawing be better on a lighter background. The only way to find out is to try another one on a light background.

I enjoyed working on this size as I could cart it around with me and ended up doing quite a bit of it in bed before going to sleep at nights (was a change from reading which is my normal wind down activity).

I just need to find out what varnish to use on this now as I have a horror of spraying it and then finding that it dissolves colour pencil and the drawing runs off the canvas. I am sure that is highly unlikely to happen but these coloured pencil pieces take so damn long that I am not willing to risk it so I will be doing some research first.

Mackenzie - graphite portrait - finished

2008-10-07T13:39:00.006+12:00

Here is Mackenzie, completed (well unless her mother tells me that something isn't quite right and that I need to fix it). This is graphite on A4 Arches Smooth. I find it really hard to take an accurate photo of pencil drawings. I know that other pencil artists scan their work but when I've tried that it has come out worse. Perhaps I should find out if there are different settings I should use for scanning as I do have a fairly decent scanner.

I have almost completed the figure drawing and it is getting fine-tuned and I am pretty happy with it actually. Just the legs and hand to go. I am a bit nervous of the hand so I need to just suck it in and do it and forget it is a hand just tones and shapes.

I also have a number of paintings on the go, none of which are at interesting stages to show. I have started a small self-portrait of myself in oil which is something I have been meaning to do for a long time. I enjoy looking at artistic development of artists through their self-portraits so I thought now was as good a time to start as any. I have done a painted sketch to establish the tones and shapes in a turpsy burnt umber. I will take photos throughout the process as it is new for me and I thought it would be good to keep a record.

I have also just started preparing the background for a dragonfly painting which is to be gifted to a woman fighting cancer. I don't know her personally but a call went out on the NZ Art Guild forum by another member so I said that I would do this. I was researching dragonflies last night and came across the incredible photography of Mark Plonsky. I emailed him to ask permission to use one of his images as a reference and he has kindly granted permission. Check this out to see his incredible dragonfly photos.

I am also at work on my donation for the Starship Hospital Christmas Fundraising. For those outside of New Zealand, Starship is our Children's Hospital. We have had to go there once late last year when my then one year old son pulled a friend's hot drink down on himself. That was a very very scary day and I am grateful that he has no scars at all from that and that there were such great ambulance and hospital staff at Starship. So they are having special market stalls with hand-made christmas decorations so once I have finished what I am doing, I will post a photo of that too.

So I am feeling very creative and inspired at the moment and it is nice to be enjoying working on so many different things at once so when one thing is drying, I can work on something else.

(please excuse the lack of space between the paragraphs - for some reason today Blogger will not let me publish this with spaces - I have tried extending the spaces when I write it but as soon as I publish it the spaces disappear. After 5 attempts at fixing I give up and I will come and check late to see if it is fixed)

WIP - Figure Drawing on canvas

2008-10-05T08:31:00.002+12:00

I am currently experimenting with using coloured pencil on canvas with this piece above. I primed the canvas with Art Spectrum Pastel primer and thought that I would play around with this because I do love works of art on canvas and it would be fantastic if it does work and I can draw on canvas then seal it and it to be able to be hung just like that. I am also experimenting with using solvent which is interesting - it seems to dissolve the pencil and you can manipulate it a bit like a turpsy oil glaze really. It can muddy it a bit but I will persevere with this as I can see the potential.

Here is a photo of it on its side. As you can see if is gallery wrapped canvas, 200 x 200 x 40mm. The image that I am working from is courtesy from wetcanvas from a virtual life drawing class last year. I will find out more details before I finish it so I can properly credit the photographer.

I also met with the owner of Cafe Apollo in Mairangi Bay on Friday and checked out the space in the cafe for hanging artwork. On the left hand side you can see about half the big white wall space available and there is also more space for two large works by the door at the end (behind me in the photo). I will be assessing whether I have enough works to fill this space appropriately within the next day or so and if I do, I will hang on Wednesday. I will rotate works every 3 months so it is another great opportunity to get my work out on display and hopefully some sales! I've had some good outcomes from displaying my work at the Albany Garden Centre and this opportunity has come from the owner seeing my work at the Pizza de Casa restaurant and taking my business card. So you do have to get out there to be seen and get sold.

If I do paint some new pieces for this cafe I think I will focus more on colourful landscapes. I do enjoy doing them and I think they would fit well in this space. For my personal development I really want to start doing some figure painting and portraiture but that is for me. I've been meaning to sign up for a life drawing class at the local high school so I better check and get on to that as I do have a feeling it was an October start!

I have almost finished the graphite portrait of my god-daughter Mackenzie, just the clothing to do now so I will post that as soon as I have completed it.

WIP - Softly Twilight - oil

2008-10-02T21:00:00.002+12:00

Today is the first day all week that I have managed to paint. I have had the kids in daycare extra days this week so I could get work done and I just haven't have the time to paint during the day and in the evenings I have been tired as I have also joined the gym this week so have been working out!!! (And thus feeling the pain in the evenings which is why a glass of wine and a book has been more tempting that painting).

It felt really good to pick up a paint brush today and I really do have a love affair with oil paints. Just the buttery consistency and the smoothness and the blendibility. I mix my colours on my palette and I really love the texture and feel as you mix with a knife. So I enjoyed myself. I still have significant work to do on this - I will go back over the sky and water with glazes and need to work more on the hills. I originally was going to put clouds high in the sky but not too sure about that at the moment - I might work on it more and then see what it needs. The colours are not quite right in the photo - it is actually softer so I will ensure I get a more accurate photo of the final result.

In terms of size, I am pretty sure this is 500 x 500mm but as I am sitting in the nice comfy lounge and can't be bothered to walk up to the studio to check, I potentially may be wrong. It is a nice size to work on in any case and I will post further process.

I also have some good news about potentially finding a cafe to display my art in long term. I currently have some pieces in the Pizza de Casa restaurant in Albany and I have been contacted by a cafe owner who saw my work there. I am off to see him tomorrow to discuss this and will update on the outcome. Apparently it is a nice cafe in a very nice area and on quite a busy road so fingers crossed.

Photos from Vegetarian Lifestyle Festival

2008-09-30T18:26:00.004+12:00

On Saturday I dropped off my paintings to be exhibited at the Vegetarian Lifestyle and Food Festival and realised that I had forgotten my business cards. I was just going to flag it and then late Saturday night I figured that it was important that I did drive out to the Festival first thing in the morning to drop off the cards. Getting cards picked up and people then being directed to my website was what I wanted to achieve from this exposure at this festival. So I did drop them off and apparently quite a few cards were picked up so fingers crossed some interest comes from that.

So here are just a couple of photos. The other two vegetarian artists that were displaying their works are the very talented Sophia Elise and Michelle Whitehouse. The art was displayed on the stage area of the hall where people could also come up and sit and eat tasty vegetarian food. There was a really good turn out and it was really busy so I'm really pleased that I participated.

I've got no art to show from the past couple of days as I haven't done any. I have been busy doing development work for my Human Resources business and I have also joined a gym. The gym part means that I am feeling rather tired and sore and instead of painting tonight, I am very tempted to lie on the couch with a good book.

Virtual Sketch Date - September

2008-09-27T09:21:00.004+12:00

Here it is - my entry this month for Virtual Sketch Date. I can't wait to see all the other interpretations when they are loaded today. Please go and check them out too - links will be listed on the VSD blog.

This is coloured pencil on AS Colourfix paper. I mainly used Prismacolor pencils which I think may be becoming my favourite out of the coloured pencil brands. The size is 260mm x 230mm and this is now my fifth coloured pencil piece.

I do like working on the Colourfix paper but might try HP watercolour next time to see what the difference is. I went through one and a half white pencils on this as this paper does eat pencil.

I notice on the overseas blogs, that people keep referring to Stonehenge paper as being the best. I haven't come across this in NZ yet but I might do a ring around and see if any of the art shops can get it or already have it. I do have some Arches smooth paper so that will be worth a try. I use the Arches normally for the graphite portraits and it is lovely paper. I also want to play around with using solvent on coloured pencil so that will be interesting to experiment with.

Anyway it is a Saturday morning and I have two exceptionally grumpy toddlers as they both have colds so I'm glad I got this one done well in advance of the deadline as I get the feeling that today is going to be one of "those" days. I have got a large oil painting that I have started out in my studio but I don't think I will be getting a chance to work on that today!

Mackenzie - graphite portrait WIP

2008-09-26T16:45:00.004+12:00

I have actually finished the virtual sketch date drawing but as I can't post that until tomorrow, I thought that I would post what I have been working on this afternoon - a graphite portrait of my god-daughter Mackenzie. Her mother (my oldest best-est friend) sent me this photo several months ago and it felt good to start this today. Once again I sat on the stairway with a gate between me and the munchkins and I could see them playing while I drew. There is fantastic afternoon light that comes through so it is a really nice way to spend an afternoon (except when I have to play referee with the sibling rivalry which has kicked in recently).

Obviously there is still a far bit of work to go on this, but I thought that I would post a WIP so I can now text my friend (she lives in Australia) to say "go check out my blog NOW" so she can see that I have finally started!

Tomorrow I will post my virtual sketch date finished piece - we don't watch TV but if there is a show we like we will work through the DVD of it within a week or two. Several years ago my youngest brother got us into Stargate Atlantis so last night I managed about 4 hours straight drawing while listening/watching the most recent season. We finished it at about 11pm last night at the same time I finished my drawing so that felt good to get that done well before the deadline.

Virtual Sketch Date - September WIP

2008-09-25T07:43:00.003+12:00

This month I am entering the Virtual Sketch Date again. I still have a lot to do on this if it will be ready to post on Saturday. Basically the rules are that once a month an image is posted on the Saturday before the last week of the month and then you have a week to use that image to create your piece. You can crop and change as you want. I am using coloured pencils for this which does take a long time.

Here is the original image -This month the image has been kindly provided by Sharon.

This morning I am off to the museum with the toddlers so I am hoping to get some inspiration and some ideas for a direction to take with my painting. The weather isn't great today which is a pity as we were hoping to have a picnic lunch outside on the domain afterwards but I am sure we can find somewhere to have a nice lunch. Speaking of this, I better go start getting kids dressed and ready.

New Studio cupboards!!!!

2008-09-20T14:32:00.005+12:00

Today I finally got my new (old) cupboards cleaned, set up and filled in my studio. And I feel pretty damm excited about it. This is an old metal filing cabinet type of cupboard that had originally belonged to my father-in-law before he passed away 2 years ago. He was an engineer that invented things so I can only imagine the myriad of bits and pieces that it would have housed for him.

For the past 2 years it was left in the garage of one of our rentals and would have been used for mechanic type stuff by car-mad tenants. As they recently moved out, I spotted this for the first time and decided that it would be perfect for me.

So this morning my lovely husband removed the bottom 3 shelfs to make space for blank canvases and I set it all up while re-organising my studio. As I've said before, I decided that my car would live outside so that I could take over half the garage as "my" room that I previously painted in, has thousands of books, a big antique oak desk and it was just getting squashed.

As you can see, I have enough small canvases to last for the next few years - you don't realise how much you have until you start organising. I don't have enough large canvases but I am going to explore getting my husband to make these out of board and see how that goes.

Here is a close up of the top shelfs. It is so nice to have things put away and really good to have the toxic type stuff way up high in a lockable cabinet. While my kids are too young to be allowed near my studio at present, we won't be able to keep them gated in a section of the house forever and I need to ensure that everything is way out of inquisitive hands.

So I feel good that I have a nice tidy organised studio - just need some spare time to get into it now!

Charcoal portrait study

2008-09-19T12:04:00.006+12:00

This is my third post today! I am a happy little blogger today aren't I.

I just wanted to quickly post this before I forget. It is a charcoal study I'm doing for some paintings around faces or figures. My husband thought she looked scary so I'm okay with that. I was going for something fairly direct and after he said that I thought I might put dark charcoal around all of her head to really just focus on the face. So I just see where this gets too in terms of a painting, but I am enjoying playing around with some different ideas at present.

I have also spent a productive hour or so while babies are sleeping, re-priming some canvases that I had started and wasn't happy with. I was getting frustrated with the amount of part-finished canvases I had in my studio so it feels really good to get some order and actually create finished new works from those canvases. I had some small textured acrylic pieces 6" x 6" so last night I pva'ed textured papers over them and then today have give several coats of gesso so they should be ready now to play around with.

I actually really want to start working BIG again but I have used up most of my big canvases so I am thinking about trying board and getting my lovely practical useful husband to make me up some big boxed boards. If I don't have to pay the labour costs, then it should work out significantly cheaper than if I was to buy artist quality canvases in those large large sizes.

NZ Vegetarian Society - Food and Lifestyle Festival

2008-09-19T12:04:00.002+12:00

Just a quick note to say that I and several other vegetarian artists have been asked to display artwork at the Vegetarian Food and Lifestyle Festival on Sunday 28 September here in Auckland. Here is the link for more details.

I will be getting 4 pieces ready for this and hope to have a couple of new pieces completed in time.

I also need to work on a blurb about why I am a vegetarian and my art today as the NZ Vegetarian magazine is doing an article about us vegetarian artists and the NZ Art Guild. So that's all exciting and fun and I will head over to Mt Eden on the day of the Festival to have a good look around myself.

I've been a vegetarian for about 6 or 7 years now. The initial reason I became a vegetarian was that I had really high cholesterol. As I was in my mid-twenties, not over-weight and fairly active at the time, I needed to make a change to see if I could reduce it naturally. My doctor gave me a year otherwise I would be on medication for the rest of my life which I wasn't keen on. It made a difference immediately and I noticed a big increase in my health following that as well. Obviously my body just doesn't like to process meat and animal products and I found I didn't miss meat at all. Now with a greater awareness of global concerns around food production and the like, I also believe that one day our society will reach a point where it can't sustain the level of meat eaten as that restricts land and resources that can be used far more effectively for other food sources. I think that will happen in my lifetime too (my husband will suffer as he is a big carnivore).

Anyway, must go as munchkins are both in bed for their nap (although not asleep quite yet) so I will see to the cat (who is wearing a collar still after surgery and hates it with a passion) and then I will take the opportunity to go paint as I have many ideas whirling inside my mind at present and I want to express them on canvas.

Do schools today kill creativity? (Ken Robinson, TEDTalks)

2008-09-19T10:58:00.001+12:00

This is brilliant, highly thought-provoking and inspiring. If you have 20 minutes of listening time, please listen to this.

As the Storm engulfs - oil on canvas

2008-09-16T07:44:00.002+12:00

Here is the final version of the skyscape I have been working on for the past few weeks. It is called "As the Storm engulfs us" and is oil on canvas 910mm x 610mm.

This is the painting that originally frustrated me as I didn't get one big work period to do the sky so it was done over a lot of half hour sessions. By the last few sessions, I actually began to like working on it over a period of time as I felt that I really was able to build up and almost sculpt the clouds. You can't see that so much in the photo but is much more obvious in real life. It also meant that I used a lot more layers than normal as I found I had to keep on painting over areas so that I could get the effects that I wanted.

This is a fairly dark skyscape as my husband pointed out and I think the reason it turned out that way is due to what has been happening in our lives recently. There are changes in my family which have made me sad and my stepson's mother has been diagnosed with breast cancer so all that stuff has been top of mind recently.

I'm not going to go into the meanings of the poem itself which is the text down the bottom except to say that it is about my marriage (and when I read it to my husband he said "that's deep"):

We are a plural
Made singularly
Entwined we keep tightening
These bindings we choose
Outside batters and storms
And bits tear from us
But we keep entwining
And tightening by choice

And before I go, please note that you can now subscribe to new posts by email. It's that box on the top right hand side, just put in your email address and then each time I post something new you get it via email in your inbox. I use Google Reader to keep up with the blogs I read but I know a lot of people don't use readers and prefer email updates so I have finally got my act together with this.

Black Lab Portrait - my Connor

2008-09-14T19:24:00.002+12:00

I managed to finish this today while sitting on the stairs with the sunlight coming through the window while my lovely husband minded the toddlers. I'm really happy as to how this turned out so I will take this to a frame shop and get a mat cut for this. I need to try out different coloured mats given that it is on blue Colourfix paper. So I'm pretty pleased given this is my fourth coloured pencil piece and my first coloured pencil animal portrait.

I used a mixture of Lyra Rembrandt, Derwent Coloursoft and Prismacolor pencils. I do like Prismacolors but I still think the coloursofts are the best for good black coverage with the softer lead.

Even though I didn't have toddlers trying to get in my way this afternoon while drawing, I did have to deal with my cat Lucy. She is currently wearing a plastic collar around her head to stop her tearing out stitches and it is driving her batty. She is very grumpy and can't get comfortable so wants to share this with me. Right now she is trying to climb on my arm while I type and this afternoon she was trying to rub the collar off on my arm when I was trying to draw. As this has to stay for for at least another week and a half, I hope she starts to get used to it as it in't pleasant being woken up in the middle of the night with a plastic collar digging into my face.

But I must go because I would like to try and finish this skyscape tonight, so hopefully if I do get it finished, I will post a photo of the final version tomorrow.