Searching for Authenticity

WIP Oil on canvas

One of the exciting things about being an artist in the early stages is the freedom to play around, try new styles and techniques and embark on a process of discovery. On the flip side, it is trying to find the balance between experimentation and artistic development while maintaining my authenticity. The non-judgemental part of me enjoys the experimenting while another part of me wonders how I can create an artist brand if I am changing and inconsistent with the type of art I do.

I think I have touched on this before, my struggle to go down any one direction. I love oils and I love the glazing, the detail, the flow that you get with them. I get lost in almost a meditative trance when I am painting in oils and can spend hours lost in blending and detail. Then again the abstract resin works I have done are so much fun. It is pure colour and play and while I don't get trance-like with it, it is a fun break from everyday work as I can head into the studio and throw another glaze on in 5 minutes and then have to leave it again to dry. So those works are done in many many stages which fits in well with two small children and two businesses.

Then again I love pencils and drawing and getting into detail detail detail and I get completely lost in time with drawing. And what about mixed media (like Soar) - that is fun and crafty and also satisfies some part of me.

So to be authentic to me and my journey as an artist, I think I need to continue with my play and experimentation as every type of art I do satisfies me and brings me joy on some level. It is about the process for me and I don't want to think about branding if that limits me. I just want to be me.

Soaring

This piece is about letting who you truly are, soar. To fulfill everything that you can be, to see possibilities and to shine.

When I stroke my children's faces as they drift off to sleep, I tell them they are perfect exactly how they are, that they can do anything they want to in life, and that they are completely and utterly perfect being who they truly are. When they are in that sleepy half awake/half asleep stage, they are so receptive to being told this and when I ask my son if he knows how truly perfect he is, he whispers yes with a smile and closed eyes.

We tend to lose that sense of truly knowing ourselves when we grow up, and what a loss that is. My children are now 2 and 3 and I know it will break my heart when I see things happen in their life that makes them question how perfect they are, how amazing they are, and that they have the ability to soar. I feel that now in my thirties, I am trying to remember who I really am and I am so excited about life and possibilities and big big dreams most of the time. But sometimes those doubts creep in and I think who am I to think I could do this.

That is when I think of Marianne Williamson's amazing piece of prose and think who am I not to be.

This piece is a reminder to soar, that when you are truly you, you can't do anything else but soar. It is mixed media on canvas with 4 layers of resin with different pieces embedded in different levels so is quite three dimensional in person.